


The Knight

by breakmybedbarnes



Series: The Knight [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics), Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Age Difference, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Community: starwarsficfest, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Knights of Ren, Fluff and Smut, Force Sensitivity, I did way too much research for this, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Mask on, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Originally Posted on Tumblr, POV Original Female Character, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Slow To Update, Smut, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren Spoilers, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force Ships It, Young Ben Solo, come for the fucking stay for the feels, kind of a love triangle??, my page is a bucky page and the first fic im posting is of Kylo Ren wow im a fake bitch, no literally I bought the comics and read them all in 30 min, ren tho he could get it, yes its a OC but pls give it a chanceeee its actually good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:27:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23330887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakmybedbarnes/pseuds/breakmybedbarnes
Summary: Vydia's path in life was never easy. At only nineteen she was on the run, wanted for murder, and on the Knights of Ren's radar for recruitment. Follow her on her twisted journey  with the galaxies most feared assassins and as she toes the line of a very dangerous romance.(I suck at summaries, so uh, literally if u wanna read something smutty that actually has a story line, read it. And I know OC's don't get much love, but trust me, this one is just *insert Italian hand here* )
Relationships: Ben Solo & You, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren & Original Female Character(s), Knights of Ren & Ben Solo, Knights of Ren & Kylo Ren, Knights of Ren & Reader, Knights of Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren & Original Character(s), Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You, Ren & Original female character, Ren & you
Series: The Knight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677790
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	1. The Beginning

Flashes of painful memories flickered across her vision. Bruises on pale skin, skinned hands and knees, split lips and crooked bloody teeth, and The Hole. 

A soft whimper escaped her lips and it woke her, freeing her from her dream. She had always been a light sleeper and it hadn’t been the first time her own cries, no matter how small they were, woke her. 

“Bad dream?” 

She sat up on her cot and glared in the direction of the voice. A brooding figure stood in the doorway of her quarters. The light shone behind him, blurring his features, but if the fear didn’t give it away, the looming scythe over his shoulder did. She knew exactly who it was and she wasn’t amused. 

“Fuck you.” She muttered. 

“We’ve arrived.” She could hear the smug smirk in his voice even if she could see his face under his mask. 

“That was fast,” she said, mostly to herself. “If you do that again, I’ll fucking gut you, Vicrul. Stay out of my head.” 

Vicrul shrugged vaguely and his scythe gleamed in the dim light. “It just happens sometimes.” 

“Then you better make sure it doesn’t _‘just happen’_.” She narrowed her eyes at him. Vicrul made a noise that almost sounded like laughter. Almost. 

“You’re funny, Vydia.” 

The sharp ring of a blade whizzed past the side of his head and he stiffened ever so slightly as it thudded into the wall behind him. He raised a gloved hand to his temple and frowned when he felt a thin line was cut into the side of his helmet. 

“Laugh it up.” Vydia said lowly and she opened her hand. The blade returned to her hand in an instant and Vicrul let out a growl. 

“Careful there, girl,” he said. “Don’t start fights you can’t finish.” 

“I don’t.” She replied darkly.

Vicrul scoffed and he turned to leave. “Get dressed. We leave in five.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered as she ran a hand through her dark hair. “Ten-four or whatever.” 

Vicrul sighed and started walked down the hall. Her door shut with a thud as soon as he left the proximity. Vydia was enveloped in darkness once again and she pinched the bridge of her nose as she groaned softly. She could never be around Vicrul without getting a headache. 

She slid off her bed and tugged on her boots. They were lighter than the others’ boots, but then again she was built for stealth, the others weren’t, well except for Kuruk. Her suit was also lighter and not quite as bulky as some of the others. She used to wear the bulky armor, but it just made her slow and clunky, so she traded it in for a more streamline suit with patches of cut resistant fabric in areas she needed it the most. 

Vydia ran a brush through her dark hair and French-braided it. It was the only way to keep her thick hair tamed under her helmet. She then slipped on her gloves and flexed her fingers. The gloves were weighted at the knuckles and as some as her cohorts had the unfortunate pleasure of finding out, they packed a wicked punch. 

She stood up and grabbed her helmet from the corner of her mattress and tugged it on over her head. It was matte black and had a smooth blank face and her braid hung out below it and rested between her shoulder blades. She slipped her daggers into their sheathes and slung her whip-sword over her shoulder. 

Her torn black cape fluttered behind her as she walked out of her quarters. The automatic doors rattled shut behind her and she made her way to the loading dock, where the rest of the Knights were. 

The rest of the knights were there waiting. Ushar was pacing, a usual practice for him before a hunt for he was the most eager for blood. His club was gripped tightly in his gloved hand and his breathing was ragged through his tubes. Trudgen was sitting on a crate full of explosives, sharpening his comically large cleaver calmly, while Cardo, Vicrul, and Ap’lek were invested in an intense card game. Ap’lek seemed to be winning, which was nothing new. 

Kuruk walked into the hangar from the cockpit and adjusted the rifle over his shoulder. 

“Ready?” 

Everyone stopped what they were doing and greeted him with a chorus of agreement. His mask’s blank gaze landed on Vydia. 

“Let’s do this.” She said. 

The Knights flooded out of the Night Buzzard like a pool of black ink. They trudged up the ravine of the foreign planet and surveyed the town below them. 

“Do we know where it is?” Trudgen asked. 

“No.” Kuruk said as he laid on his belly and set his rifle up in front of him. Vydia scoffed and shook her head. 

“I don’t supposed we could just ask nicely?” She said with a grin. Kuruk snorted and loaded his rifle. Cardo guffawed and he aimed his arm canon vaguely towards the direction of the town. He unloaded the canon and Vydia was thankful for her helmet’s hearing protection or else she would’ve gone deaf. 

“Real fucking subtle.” Kuruk scoffed. 

“Subtly is not my forte.” She could hear the wide smile in Cardo’s voice. 

“Oh, we are all well aware of that, my friend,” Ap’lek said eerily. “Look, they’ve spotted us. Let’s go play, children.” 

The Knights leapt over the edge of the ravine and sprinted into battle. They moved like a storm, obliterating anything and everything that crossed their paths. Explosions shook the ground and sent chunks of land and limbs flying in every direction and the sky was stained black with smoke and lit up red with every shot of every blaster. 

Vydia’s sword slashed down opponent after opponent. She ducked under a spear and her hand shot out, using the Shadow to slam her attacker into a tree. They hit it so hard, their helmet came flying off and they didn’t get back up. 

She stood back up and another spear was jabbed in her direction. She dodged it narrowly and went to slice their head off, but someone else beat her to it. She heard the fiery twang of a lightsaber before she saw it and she leapt back in surprise. 

Kylo Ren. 

He was here. . . 

She opened her mouth to say something smart, but a blast rocked them off their balance and he caught them quickly. As soon as she came to her senses, she jerked out of his grip with a growl and another wave of warriors came their way. 

They swiftly moved back to back and struck down anyone that neared them with ease. The natives had no chance against the highly trained Knights and the battle was over before it had even started. 

Vydia and Kylo Ren panted heavily and by the time they were done, they were surrounded by bodies. Kylo Ren retracted his lightsaber and Vydia straightened her sword and slid it back into its scabbard behind her back. 

The stormtroopers rounded up the survivors and after a loud series of blasts the cries were silenced and only the angry crackle of the flames was audible. Kylo Ren seemed focus on other things and did even question the survivors. He seemed to know exactly where he was going and Vydia followed cautiously behind him. 

As they grew closer to what he was after, she began to feel it. The Darkness. Her gaze fell onto a small stone structure and Kylo Ren threw the lid onto the ground. It landed with a heavy thud and Kylo Ren reaches inside and pulled out a small pyramid shaped object. 

“Is that it?” 

“Yes.” He said shortly.

“Will we follow you?” 

“No. Tell the others to stay nearby and await my orders.” He said. Though he couldn’t see it, she arched an eyebrow. 

“What if it’s a trap?” 

“It’s not.” 

Vydia couldn’t help herself, she scoffed. Kylo Ren’s dark gaze shot up and he glared at her. She lowered her gaze respectfully. 

“We’ll wait for you.” She said slowly. 

With a flourish of his cape he spun around and headed back to his ship. Vydia sighed as she went to regroup with the other Knights. They all met up back at the Buzzard and Vydia filled in the others. 

“You _saw_ the Sith wayfinder?” Vicrul said in awe. “What did it look like?”

“A triangle,” Vydia replied vaguely. “But that’s not the point. He’s going _alone_ to the planet of the fucking Sith.” 

“Don’t worry your boyfriend will be fine,” Cardo grinned. “Dude knows how to take care of himself. This is a win! Let’s celebrate.” 

“Oh yes, you caught me, mister man-child is boyfriend.” Vydia snapped.

“What? Man-children aren’t your type?” 

“No. Why do you think I blow you off every time you try to get in my pants?” 

_“Ouch!”_ Cardo our a hand to his chest. “I’m wounded!” 

“I’m with Cardo,” Trudgen said. “Let’s celebrate. It’s been far too long since we’ve been able to relax.” 

_“I’m not hauling any of your asses out of the bar after you blackout when Kylo Ren calls us in.”_ Ushar said in his native tongue. 

“Hey! I don’t blackout, I just like to—”

“Blackout.” Kuruk finished. 

“Fuck you, rifle boy.” 

Kuruk shrugged. 

“So it’s settled, we’re _not_ partying?” 

The doors to the cantina opened up and it’s occupants went silent as their gazes landed on the Knights. Once they realized who they were, the barflies quickly returned to their drinks and idle conversations, eager not to upset the galaxy’s most notorious killers. 

“I need a drink.” Vydia said with a groan. Kuruk nodded his head in agreement. 

“I’ll join you.” 

They made their way to the back where the bar was and the small crowd that was gathered there, cleared out swiftly. 

“What do you want?” 

“The usual,” Vydia replied. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” 

The bartender handed them their drinks with a slight quake in his hand, but both Knights just ignored it. 

“You don’t like him.” Kuruk said as he sipped his drink. Vydia chuckled and she rested her chin on the heel of her palm. 

“I don’t like a lot of people, so you’re gonna have to be a little more specific than that.” She said with a wry smile. The corner of Kuruk’s mouth twitched into an almost smile, but his seriousness returned quickly. 

“Kylo Ren.” 

“Oh. Well, you’re not wrong.” She scoffed and she pressed her lips to her glass. 

“Is it because you were in love with Ren?” 

She choked on her drink. 

“What the fuck, Kuruk!” She gasped. She cleared her throat and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her suit. Kuruk watched her and amusement shone in his dark eyes. 

“Interesting.” He mused. 

“Fuck you,” she snapped. “Besides he’s dead now, so there’s no need to open that can of worms and love is a very strong word. I was a child it was no more than a crush.” 

Bitterness rang clear in her voice and she glared at the bar top with flushed cheeks. Kuruk arched an eyebrow as he sat back in his seat. He folded his arms over his chest and grinned at her. 

“How long?” 

“What? How long what?” She played dumb. 

He gave her a cross look and she sighed. 

“Long enough.” She mumbled into her glass. She gestured to the bartender to refill her glass and when he tried to take the bottle back she shook her head. He left it and she grabbed it and took a nice long swig. She was going to need to be far more intoxicated if she was going to have this conversation. 

“From the beginning?” 

“Yeah. From the beginning. . .” 

Vydia was about eighteen when Ren had found her, or rather when Snoke had told him to find her. She was hiding out in a place not unlike the one they were holed up in right then. 

She was sitting at the bar with a hood over her head and was only armed with a dagger. Ren had sat beside her and asked for the strongest drink they had and then, “Another of what she’s having. On me.” 

The bartender poured his glass and then slid her another. Vydia looked up from her half empty glass and inhaled sharply. Ren and the Knights of Ren were infamous. It was impossible not to recognize them. 

She hoped that she played it cool, but was sure that recognition flashed across her features because, he winked at her. His smooth grey mask was laying beside him on the bar and she couldn’t help but notice how attractive he was. She had never seen him without his mask before, but she wondered why he wore it when he looked as handsome as he did. Messy white curls adorned his head and his eyes were a brilliant blue. His body however, was scarred a fleshy red and black and worn like trophy for the only thing he had on to cover himself was a torn cape and a pair of trousers. 

“What’s your name, kid?” He asked. 

She shrugged and said nothing. She knocked back the rest of her drink and dropped some credits onto the bar top. 

“Thanks for the drink.” She told Ren and then she slid off her seat and attempted to walk towards the exit, but another Knight stood up and blocked her path. She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest as she turned to face Ren. 

“Look, despite whatever you may have heard, I’m not looking for any trouble,” she said carefully. “I just want to be left alone. Please.” 

“Is that _really_ what you want?” Ren spun around on his stool and rested his elbows on the bar and leaned back. 

“Yes.” Vydia said through gritted teeth. She really didn’t want to have to fight them, but she had no intention of going down easy if it came down to it. 

“You can touch the Shadow, can’t you?” He held out his hand and a weapon, she thought was long gone, a lightsaber, hovered lazily above his hand. Her eyes never left the weapon as she shook her head. 

“No.” She lied. 

“Hmm, I think you can.” He slid his lightsaber back onto his belt and then jerked his hand in her direction. An invisible force dragged her towards him and she gasped. He leaned in, his face inches from hers. 

“Show me, Vydia.” 

Vydia’s eyes widened. He knew her name. He knew she could use, whatever he had called it, the Shadow. _How?_

She nodded her head quickly and she felt his grip on her loosen. She reached out and his glass came floating towards her until it finally rested in her hand. Ren smiled widely. 

“Excellent—” 

She tossed the drink his his face and he jerked back in surprise. The liquid burned his eyes and he cried out in pain. With him distracted, she ran for it. She dove through the crowd just in time to hear Ren yell. 

“Find her!” 

_Oh shit!_

She pushed through the people in the cantina and eventually made it to the exit. The doors slid open and she slipped through swiftly. Her hood had fallen down when Ren used the Shadow on her and she quickly pulled it back over her head as she tried to duck into a dark alley. 

A hand snagged onto her robe and yanked her back. She yelped as she stumbled back and her hand wrapped around the hilt of her dagger. She landed on her behind and threw her dagger with a little extra Shadow oomph, in the direction of her attacker. 

The dagger buried itself in the shoulder of one of the knights and she held her hand out. It zipped back into her hand. Blood sprayed across her face and she leapt up to attack again, but something heavy and blunt slammed into her head and she slumped forward nearly unconscious. She blinked slowly and her fingers twitched as the world spun around her rapidly. 

“Aw fuck,” that was Ren’s voice. “You didn’t kill her, did you?” 

Someone replied in a language she didn’t know and Ren scoffed. Scarred arms scooped her up and her head lolled to the side as she hung limply in Ren’s arms. With her last ounce of consciousness she spat the blood that began to pool in her mouth out onto Ren’s face. 

“I think she’s going to be just fine.” A voice she didn’t recognize said. 

“Me too,” Ren grimaced, but he looked down at her with soft eyes. “Go to sleep, kid.”

Darkness enveloped her vision. 

“Vydia?” Kuruk’s voice snapped her out of her memories and she blinked a few times. She sighed as she took a sip of her drink and shook her head. 

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She said. 

“I’ve never seen you. . . Feel something. Forgive me for being curious.” Kuruk said with a sideways smile. Vydia scoffed. 

“What gave it away?” She asked. 

“Nothing. Just a feeling.” He shrugged. 

“Do you think the others know?” Vydia asked. She glanced behind her and saw the Knights celebrating their win in their own ways. 

Ap’lek was cheating other patrons out of their money in a game of shells, Cardo was laughing boisterously with a woman under each arm, Trudgen was sitting across from Cardo seducing a partner of his own, while Vicrul and Ushar were sulking at the entrance of the cantina since socializing wasn’t really their cup of tea. 

“No.” Kuruk said. 

“Do you mean that or are you just trying to make me feel better?” She smirked at him. Kuruk chuckled and he ran a hand down his scruffy chin. 

“I mean it. The others. . .” He sighed as he took a moment to think. “Considering the feelings of others is not their strong suit.” 

“That’s putting it nicely.” Vydia said. 

“Well aren’t you two cozy,” a large hand slapped on both Vydia and Kuruk’s backs. “Can I bum a drink of you, love?” 

“Fuck off, Cardo.” Kuruk muttered. 

Vydia chuckled as she poured Cardo a drink. “You owe me.” 

“Oh, I could repay you in more ways than one if you let me, darlin’.” He winked at Vydia and she rolled her eyes. 

“Save that for your friends over there, you horny bastard.” Vydia snorted. Cardo wiggled his eyebrows and gave them some cheesy finger guns as he spun around to return to his companions. 

“How many diseases do you suppose he has?” Kuruk said as he waved Cardo on with a smile.

“Too many.” Vydia said through a smile of her own. She laughed as she turned back around to face the bar and Kuruk did the same. Vydia downed the rest of her drink and out of the corner of her eye she saw a man walk up beside her. 

“Hey—”

“Get fucked.” She said without so much as a glance. 

The man practically shriveled, but tried his best to puff up his chest and regain a sliver pride by muttering, “Fucking bitch,” under his breath. 

“What was that?” Vydia slid off her seat and Kuruk rose to his feet with a hand on his blaster. The rest of the Knights either saw or sensed the commotion and stood up as well. The cantina grew so quiet the drop of a grenade pin would’ve been deafening. 

“Uh. . .” The man went as pale as a ghost. 

“That is no way to talk to a lady.” Vydia clicked her tongue in mock disapproval and in an instant her hand was on her blade and the man was choking on his own blood. 

The cantina erupted in chaos and the Knights jumped into battle with a roar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coffee? Lol I’m a writer and a zookeeper so I make exactly two cents. 
> 
> https://ko-fi.com/ohwitchplz


	2. The Past

The Knights retired to their ship and Vydia set her helmet on her nightstand. She sighed as she tugged her bloody gloves off her hands and she sat down to remove her boots. She huffed in annoyance when she assessed her dirty clothes. Those would have to be washed another night. She was too tired to get them cleaned at the moment. 

She padded into her washroom and quickly shed the rest of her clothing. She bathed quickly, for the heat never seemed to last long on the ragtag ship. She slipped on a simple black sheath and when she stood in the doorway to her room she sighed again. 

It seemed like it was only yesterday when she joined the Knights. She remembered first waking up on the ship. It was actually in the same room as the one she was currently occupying. 

She awoke with a start and then clutched her head and grimaced. Her eyes widened when she realized half of her head was shaved and a gnarly fresh scar ran across the side of her scalp. She jumped in surprise when something moved beside her. 

“Hey, easy kid,” it was Ren. “You’re okay.” 

She glared at him and he offered her a glass of water. She eyed the glass suspiciously and refused to take it. 

Ren sighed and he took a long gulp from the glass before he offered it to her again. “Believe me, if we wanted you dead, you’d be dead and poison is not how we’d do it.”’

She took the glass quickly and chugged the water. He reached out for the empty glass and she handed it to him. He filled it up with a pitcher he had beside him and handed it back to her. Her head ached with pulsing pain and she pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“Why am I here?” She croaked. 

“Because you’re special, Vydia.” 

She snorted. 

“Is that why you attacked me?” 

“If we’re getting technical, I think _you_ started that fight,” he chuckled. “Which was very brave of you. Stupid, but brave.” 

Vydia said nothing. She glared at her glass of water and wondered if she broke the glass and jammed it into his throat, how much time would she have to try and escape. 

“But I will admit, our approach wasn’t as. . . Subtle as I would’ve liked, but it was the first time we had ever found someone like you.” He said. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well, for one,” he sat back on his stool. “You’re young and two, you’re a woman.” 

“What the fuck has that got to do with anything?” She snapped. 

“Our technique for recruitment usually involves a fair amount of intimidation,” he said. “Intimidate a man, he’ll more than likely fight to prove himself. Intimidate a young woman and she’ll run.” 

He was right, she did run, but she wasn’t going to run ever again. She moved like lightning as she slammed her glass into the wall beside her and she launched herself at Ren. He fell onto his back and she straddled him quickly as pressed a sharp shard of glass against his throat. 

“How’s that for running?” She arched an eyebrow. 

_“Oh,_ I like you.” Ren grinned. 

Vydia frowned and she was thrown back onto her cot by an invisible force, but a cushion of that force kept her head from smacking onto the wall behind her. She tried to move, but it had her pinned in place. Ren dusted himself off as he stood up and sat back down on his stool. 

“Look kid, I’ll cut to the chase,” he said. “We want you on our team.” 

“And if I decline?” 

“Then we’ll let you go,” he said. “But you’ll come back. They always do.” 

“Why do you want me?” 

“You’re powerful,” he said. “The Shadow around you is more powerful than I’ve seen in a long time. If you join us, we can help you learn to use that power. You’d be unstoppable.” 

Vydia wasn’t sure what he meant about the Shadow, but she didn’t question it. Ren stood up and he scooped the rest of the shards off the cot and into his hand. He set them on the nightstand and then released her from his grip. 

“But the price to join us is steep.” Ren said. 

“What is it?” 

“A _good_ death.” 

“I—” she paused. “Oh.”

“Yes,” Ren gave her a soft smile. “But something tells me, you’ve already got that covered. Could you tell me about it?”

“I killed my sister.” She said. 

“I know—” 

That wasn’t surprising.

“—tell me what happened.” 

“She deserved it.” Vydia said darkly, but she didn’t elaborate. Ren smiled again and he folded his arms over his scarred chest. 

“Now, how can I tell if it was a good death or not, if you won’t tell me what happened?” He said. Vydia opened her mouth to reply, but she just couldn’t, so she sighed. 

“Okay, I’ll tell you what, you can hang out with us for a while and when you’re finally able to tell me what happened, then you can stay.” He said. 

“I never said I wanted to join you.” She said. 

“No,” he mused. “But I think we both know what you’re going to do anyways. Eat and get some rest.” 

A knock on her door broke her concentration and Vydia sighed. She walked towards her door and it slid open. 

“What?” She asked in annoyance. 

Cardo leaned heavily on the doorframe and grinned lazily at her. 

“I have a friend over,” he slurred. “She’s pretty like you and is totally down for a little _ménage à trois_ action—”

“Goodnight, Cardo.” She walked away from her door and it shut quickly. She locked it, just for good measure and then climbed into her bed. She fell asleep quickly, but wasn’t prepared when her dreams slipped into her memories. 

This memory took place about a month into her time with the Knights. Training was rigorous and her body was littered with purple bruises. 

“Alright, that’s enough for today.” Ren said breathlessly and he released her from a headlock. She rolled onto all fours and coughed raggedly as she gasped for air. 

“You’re getting better.” Ren said as he held his hand out for her. 

“Don’t patronize me.” She took his hand and kicked out his feet from under him and dragged him beside her. She rolled onto him and used the Shadow to bring his lightsaber, which was sitting on the bench in the corner of the room on his cloak, to her hand and ignited it. The side of the blade was inches from his throat and Ren grinned at her. 

“I wasn't.” He said. She rolled her eyes as she retracted his blade. She climbed off of him and helped him off the floor. She tossed him his lightsaber and then sat on the bench and began to undo the wraps on her hands. 

“You fight a lot better when you don’t wear that bulky armor.” Ren said. Vydia shrugged. 

“Maybe I’ll have to train with it on.” 

“Or I could have something slimmer made for you.” He said as he knelt in front of her. He grabbed her hand and began to help her remove her wraps. She felt herself grow warm under his blue gaze and she cleared her throat. 

“No thanks.” She said and she gently took her hands out of his. She stood up and grabbed a herself a glass of water. 

“Why not?” He rose to his feet and faced her. Vydia said nothing as she looked at her water. Ren took her glass out of her hand and sighed. 

“Look at me,” he said. “What’s bothering you?” 

She looked up at him and scoffed. “It’s nothing.” 

“It’s clearly not,” he said. “Besides I can’t have you dying in battle on me because you can’t move in your armor. Let me help you.” 

Vydia exhaled softly. “My armor helps hide the fact that I’m a woman.” 

“Why would you want to hide that? You’re the only woman in the Knights of Ren! You should be proud of that!” He set her glass down and grabbed her hands. He set them on his scarred chest and she swallowed hard. 

“Own your insecurities, Vydia,” he said. “Don’t let them control you.” 

“Easy for you to say, people still take you seriously with your scars.” She said. He wore his scars with pride, but she was afraid of her opponents wouldn’t take her seriously if they knew she was a woman.

“Let them underestimate you,” Ren said. “It’ll be their downfall.” 

Vydia slipped her hands out from under his and she sighed. “You’re right.” 

“I know,” he said with a teasing smile. “I’ll have something made for you and it’s about time you have your own helmet as well. Any ideas for it?” 

“Not really.” She shrugged.

“Hmmm. . . Then I’ll have a few made and you can choose which one you like the best.” Ren said. 

The dream shifted into another memory. 

Ren panted heavily as he slammed his hips into hers. His rough hand was pressed to her throat, pushing her into the wall he had her pinned up against (but not hard enough to crush her windpipe of course). Vydia whimpered and she gripped his wrists hard. Her nails bit into his burnt flesh and he smiled at her.

“One more time, baby,” he huffed. “One more. . .” 

He hiked her leg up higher over his and he shifted her in his grip so that her legs straddled his waist. His hand released her neck and slipped in between her legs. She tossed her head back, careful not to hit the wall behind her too hard, and cried out. 

Ren buried his face in her chest and pressed biting kisses over the curves of her breasts. His fingers dug into her thigh, sure to leave prominent bruises in their wake. A soft moan escaped Vydia’s parted lips and Ren pressed his damp forehead to hers. His bright blue eyes were glowing with lust as he grinned at her. She smiled back and then bit back another moan when his hips jerked up in a particularly harsh thrust. 

His fingers never strayed from their intense mission and she shut her eyes as she came hard. A flood of praise left Ren’s swollen lips, but she couldn’t exactly focus on what he was saying. He pressed his mouth to hers and that she could comprehend and she kissed him back roughly. 

Vydia moaned softly as she began to come down from her high and Ren groaned against her lips when he finally came. His sloppy thrusts slowed to a stop and he broke the kiss to breathe. Their chests heaved as they gasped for air and Ren pecked her lips once more before he pulled her off the wall and they tumbled into the bed beside them. 

“Mmm. . . Ren?” She mumbled against his mouth that somehow found it’s way back to hers. Ren drew back slowly. 

“Yes?” 

“It’s late.” She said. 

“Your point?” 

_“My_ point,” she scoffed. “Is that I should go back to my room and get some rest. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” 

“You could always spend the night here.” He pointed out. 

“You know I can’t.” 

“You could,” he said. “But you won’t.” 

“I don’t want the others to think poorly of us or that I have an advantage over them.” She said. 

“Oh yes, because gods forbid I give the woman I love special treatment.” Ren’s tone was teasing, but his keen eyes gauged her reaction carefully. 

“You—you love me?” She managed to choke out. 

“Yes.” He said, very matter of fact. 

“I—” she cleared her throat. “Uh. . .”

“You don’t have to say it back,” Ren said with a shrug. “Just say it when you mean it.” 

_“When?”_ She said incredulously. “Aren’t you cocky.” 

“You know it.” He smirked at her. He slid off of her, but quickly pulled her into his chest before she could wiggle away. 

“What do you think of the new kid?” He said changing the subject. 

“Kid? Y’know he’s older than me right?” She chuckled. Ren wrinkled his nose. 

“Really?” He looked at her in disbelief. “How old _are_ you?” 

“Twenty.” 

“No fucking way.” 

“Are you saying I look old?” She straddled him quickly and glared at him. Ren’s face fell and he sat up swiftly and cupped her face gently. 

“No, no, baby. . . ” Then he frowned. “You’re just fucking with me, aren’t you?” 

“Well, I don’t know what else you’d call what we did on that wall over there.” She smirked at him. Ren scoffed. 

“Whatever,” he laid back down and slid his hands under his head as he enjoyed the view above him. “All I meant was that you don’t act like your age.” 

“Neither does Ben. He’s twenty-one and he still acts like a pussy.” 

“Trauma makes people regress and the kid has been through hell and back,” Ren shrugged and he freed one of his hands and ran it down her side absentmindedly. “If Snoke believes in him, so should we.” 

His hand slid down her thigh and he gave it a tight squeeze before he drew his hand back and smacked the side of her ass. 

“Hey!” She swatted at his hand. 

“I think he has a crush on you,” Ren grinned. _“Whew!_ If he could see you like this, he’d jizz his pants on the spot.” 

“You think everyone has a crush on me.” She snapped. 

“Because you’re surrounded by men and men are very simple creatures,” he said. “Dangle a hot piece of ass—”

 _“Easy.”_ She growled. 

“—in front of them and they lose their minds. Now give that hot piece of ass a sword and a beautiful brain and they’ll shit themselves.” He finished. 

“A hot piece of ass with a beautiful brain?” She clicked her tongue mockingly and pressed her hand to her chest. “You flatter me.” 

“Don’t forget the sword.” 

“Ah, yes,” she scoffed. “A hot piece of ass with a beautiful brain and a sword.” 

“Bingo.” 

“You’re a fucking idiot.” 

_“Wake up.”_

Vydia sat up with a gasp and she glared in the direction of her open door, which she thought she had locked. 

“Don’t you know how to fucking—oh! Supreme Leader!” She ducked her head down and felt herself grow hot with embarrassment under his gaze. 

“Get dressed and meet in the hangar,” his voice was muffled by his helmet. “We have things to discuss.” 

“Yes sir.” She said. 

Kylo Ren spun around and left her quarters without another word. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time jumping from the present to the past in a story and omggg I fucking love it so far. I also really hope I finish this fic cause I have a bad habit of not finishing things. Since the whole Coronavirus shit has started, I only work part time now and I'm gonna be spending a lot of time indoors, so hopefully this compels me to actually finish this fic.


	3. Danger

All of the Knights gathered in the cafeteria of the reformed prison ship and Vydia took a seat on one of the tables and her boots rested on the bench below it. She leaned her elbows on her knees and folded her hands to hide the shake in them. 

She wasn’t sure why she was nervous, but something in the back of her mind was set on edge and she didn’t like it one bit. She glanced around slowly, trying to focus on anything that would calm her down. Her gaze landed on the kitchen counter behind the glass cafeteria doors and she smiled to herself. 

Vydia had always had a habit of sneaking down in the late hours of the night (or rather the time everyone deemed it was time to sleep, since it was basically always night in space) and sneaking some snacks. 

She had gone down there one night, dressed only in her thin black sheath and an even thinner black robe, with plans to raid the cabinet for a cup of pudding or something as equally satisfying. She crept into the kitchen and froze, when she realized she wasn’t alone. 

Ren was standing in front of the cabinets with a spoon hanging out of his mouth and he turned around. His gaze landed on her and he pulled the spoon out of his mouth and smiled shamelessly. 

“You don’t have to look so guilty,” he teased. “Food’s here did all of us.” 

He tossed something in her direction and she caught it swiftly. It was a pudding cup. 

“Oh, uh, thanks.” She walked around the counter and Ren handed her a spoon. He watched her closely and she felt her cheeks heat up with blush. 

“You don’t trust easily,” It was a statement, not a question. “You’ve been with us a year and you still don’t trust any of us.” 

“Your powers of observation are astounding,” she said as she peeled the wrapper off her cup. “Tell me more, oh wise one.” 

She looked up at him and batted her eyelashes. Ren laughed and he took a step towards her. He was close enough to touch now. 

“You’re also very sarcastic.” He said as he gazed down at her. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner,” she winked at him and ate a spoonful of pudding. “Pick a prize, any prize.” 

“Any prize?” He grinned and his gaze fixed on her lips. “A kiss.” 

Vydia yanked the spoon out of her mouth and frowned. “I—what?” 

“A kiss.” He said and his brow furrowed. 

“Oh, so I did hear you right.” She said under her breath. She looked down, suddenly finding her pudding cup to be very interesting. 

“Yes, you did,” Ren said slowly. “But if you don’t want to, uh, that’s. . . Fine.” 

“I didn’t say that.” Vydia said quickly and then she just about wanted to drop dead because she said that way too fast. 

“So, can I kiss you or are we going to save our selves some embarrassment and pretend this conversation never happened?” He said with a sideways smile. 

“I—uh, yes,” she said softly. “You can kiss me.” 

Ren chuckled and he grabbed her hands gently and made her face him. He tipped her chin up and leaned in slowly, like he was afraid she’d change her mind or maybe he was trying to give her time to change her mind. 

He pressed his lips to hers lightly and his hands slid down to clutch her waist and bring her body closer to his. Vydia sighed against his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged him closer. She didn’t realize how long she had been waiting for this moment and it didn’t disappoint. 

The kiss grew rougher and more passionate as their reservations started to pass. She wove her fingers through his thick hair and he lifted her up onto the counter in one swift motion. Her legs had a mind of their own when they wrapped themselves around his waist and she ran her hands down his body, savoring the slope and curve of his muscle under her fingertips. 

Ren growled against her lips and his hands worked on tugged her robe down her shoulders. When the fabric wouldn’t slide any further down her arms, his hands moved to her thighs and began to push up her short gown. A dull firework went off in her head and she pulled away from his mouth quickly. 

“Mmm! Wait!” She gasped. 

“What? What’s wrong?” He stopped immediately. 

“I, uh, I’ve never. . .” 

“Oh,” Ren scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I didn’t think. . . Well, in that case, we should wait.” 

“What?” 

“Your first time should not be on the counter in a shitty prison kitchen,” he laughed. “We’ll take it slow, okay? There’s no rush.” 

He pulled her off the counter and pressed a kiss to her forehead as he tucked a lock of her black hair behind her ear. 

“Oh.” She said slowly, but she was relieved. 

“That doesn’t mean we have to stop tonight though,” he smirked at her. “You can come back to my quarters and—”

“No!” 

“We don’t have to do anything—!” 

“No, no,” she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sorry, I, uh, I mean I don’t want the others to know about. . . This. It just. . . I don’t think it would go over well.” 

Now it was his turn to look relieved. He exhaled sharply and he grabbed her upper arms as he laughed. 

“Fuck, you scared me there, V,” he said. “But yeah, we can keep it on the down low.” 

“V? We’re doing pet names already?” 

“Is that not okay?” Ren asked quickly. 

“I’m just messing with you,” Vydia chuckled. “You can call me that, but not in front of the others. The last thing I need is for Cardo to find something else to give me shit for.” 

“He gives you shit?” Ren’s attitude darkened instantly. 

“Nothing I can’t handle, Ren,” she said with a soft laugh. “Keep your white horse and shining armor under your bed. I can handle myself.” 

Ren relaxed and he shook his head with a sigh. “Yeah, I know. Sorry.” 

The cafeteria doors rattled open loudly and Vydia was brought back to the present. She noticed that Kuruk had taken a seat at her table too. Kylo Ren strut into the cafeteria and he paced in front of the Knights. 

“The First Order is about to change the galaxy,” he said. “Palpatine is alive and with his help we will become the Final Order and we will rule the galaxy.” 

The Knights held their breath in eager anticipation. 

“However, I have no intention of serving another master,” he growled. “I will use Palpatine for now, but when I am done with him I will destroy him. Until then, we have many things to do. Trudgen, Ap’lek, Cardo, and Vicrul, find the scavenger girl. Kill her.

Kuruk prepare the pilots. The atmosphere of Exegol is impossible to fly through, they will need intense training.

Vydia and Ushar will stay with me. If the Emperor gets word that I don’t intend to keep mine, I will need strong warriors to fight by my side. Go.”

_Bodyguard duty? Really?_

Vydia sighed as she watched her comrades storm off to complete their important missions and she couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy in her chest. 

“Prepare my ship.” Kylo Ren said. Vydia and Ushar began to make their way to the exit, but Kylo Ren speaks again. 

“Not you,” he looks at Vydia. “We need to talk.” 

Nothing good ever comes after that phrase, Vydia thought to herself and she watched Ushar leave. Dread settled in the pit of her stomach and she turned to face Kylo Ren. The doors to the cafeteria slammed shut and Vydia inhaled sharply. 

“Remove your helmet.” 

She did. 

Kylo Ren walked closer towards her. The blank face of his mask bared down on her and she resisted the urge to look away. She kept her gaze steady and didn’t back down.

“How may I serve you, Supreme Leader?” She asked through gritted teeth. 

“You’re a hard person to read,” he said and she stayed silent. “You lock down your mind almost as tight as I do. What dark secrets lurk under that pretty little head?” 

His gloved hand tipped her chin up and she resisted the urge to pull away. If anyone else had done that, they wouldn’t have left the room without at least a black eye or a chipped tooth, but this was different. She knew Kylo Ren would have no reservations when it came to the idea of killing her. 

He released her chin and took a step back. 

“You and Ren,” he chuckled. “I wouldn’t have guess it, but the truth is often surprising.” 

Vydia didn’t say anything and she kept her face clean of emotion, but she was definitely surprised. Did Kuruk tell him? A surge of anger bubbled up in her stomach. 

“Now I have a dilemma,” Kylo Ren continued. “Where do your loyalties lie? With the Order? Or with Ren?” 

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” She snapped. 

“You are,” he tilted his head. “But you’re also the most patient of the Knights. You would be the one to stay with me for years and still plan for my downfall. All you need is the right moment to strike.” 

“Now why would I want that?” Vydia glared at him. 

“Because I killed Ren.” He said. 

“I don’t have to prove myself to you. My actions over the past five years have done that enough,” she scoffed. “But if you must know, my relationship with Ren was casual. We had sex and that was it. At most, his death was an inconvenience.”

“Still,” Kylo Ren mused. “You’re not leaving my side.” 

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, Vydia thought to herself. 

“Fine,” Vydia growled. “Is that it?” 

“Yes.” 

Vydia spun on her heels and she stormed out of the cafeteria. The second the doors shut behind her, she back up against the closest wall and exhaled sharply. Her head fell back and thudded against the wall and she shut her eyes. 

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!_

She let out a short cry of anger and chucked her helmet down the hall. _He knew? How the fuck did he know?_

She took a deep breath to calm herself and she ran a hand over her face and into her hair. She focused her energy and reached out to find Kuruk. It was muddy at first, but she took another breath and she saw him standing in the cockpit punching in coordinates. 

Vydia opened her eyes and she walked swiftly down the hall. She scooped up he helmet, but didn’t put it on as she made her way towards the cockpit. The doors slid open as she climbed into the cockpit and she dropped her helmet onto a panel loudly. 

“Break it you buy it.” Kuruk didn’t look up from his panel. 

“Did you tell him?” 

Kuruk looked up with a furrowed brow. 

“What?” 

“Did you fucking tell him?!” She use the Force and slammed him up against the wall. A second later she was inches from his face with a curved dagger at his throat. 

“No!” Kuruk gasped. His dark eyes were wide with alarm and he held his hands up in surrender. “I would never! I swear!” 

“Well he fucking knows!” Vydia snarled. 

“Vydia, I promise. I didn’t tell him anything.” Kuruk said gently and he placed his hand over the hand that held the dagger to his neck. 

With a frustrated growl she pulled away from him and he slid down the wall with a sharp exhale. She sheathed her dagger and cracked her knuckles. Deep down she knew Kuruk didn’t tell him. Part of her just wanted to beat the shit out of him just for the sake of beating the shit out of someone. 

“Yeah. I know.” She muttered angrily. 

“Did anyone else beside me know?” Kuruk asked carefully. 

“Not that I know of.” She said. 

“What happened? What did he say?” 

“Kylo Ren questions my loyalty because I let someone stick it in me” She buried her face in her palms. 

“You had _sex_ with Ren?!” Kuruk sputtered. Vydia looked up from her hands and gave him a sort of “duh?” look. 

“Uh, yes.” She said. Kuruk grinned at her. 

“Hey! Don’t look at me like that, you’re the one that told me it was just a crush!” He laughed and dragged his hand over the lower half of his face. “Holy shit, you fucked Ren.”

“Yeah, yeah, grow up and shut up about it.” She snapped. 

“Wait, wait, how long were you two. . . ?” 

“About a year.” 

“You were fucking Ren for a year and none of us noticed?!” Kuruk’s jaw dropped. 

_“You were what?”_ A voice said behind them. Vydia and Kuruk jumped in surprise and Vydia groaned loudly. 

“Shit,” she smacked Kuruk on the back of the head. “Nice going loud mouth!”

“Don’t tell anyone!” Kuruk said pleadingly. Ushar tilted his head to the side. 

“Why would I?” 

“Uhhh. . . I don’t know,” Kuruk said. “For leverage?” 

Vydia smacked him again. “Shut up!” 

“Stop hitting me!” 

“Stop acting stupid!” Vydia shot back. 

Ushar sighed, completely unamused. 

_“Vydia, we need to leave.”_ He said. He sounded. . . Bored. 

“Right,” she said. “I’ll, uh, keep in touch.” 

“Okay. Stay safe.” Kuruk said. Worry suddenly laced his features and she patted him on the shoulder and began to follow Ushar out of the cockpit. 

“So, uh, Ushar,” Vydia cleared her throat as they walked towards the hangar. “I’d like it if you keep what you heard to yourself.” 

_“Okay.”_

_“Okay?”_ She was surprised. 

Ushar stopped in his tracks and faced her. 

_“You humans are strange,”_ he scoffed. _“Why would I care who you have sexual intercourse with?”_

“Vydia has sexual intercourse?!” Cardo’s loud voice rang out across the hall. He strut towards them with a grin plastered on his face. 

“Fuck me.” Vydia muttered under her breath. 

“With who?” 

_“That’s her story to tell.”_ Ushar shrugged. 

“Who?” Cardo wigged his eyebrows. 

“Not you.” She snapped. Cardo scoffed. 

“Yeah, I’m aware,” he slung his arm over her shoulders. “Come on, tell me.” 

“No! I don’t ask you who you fuck, so don’t ask me!” She wiggled out from under his arm. “Now, I’ve got shit to do so get off my dick.” 

She walked swiftly down the hall and Ushar followed close behind her. 

“You’re no fun, V!” 

She flipped him the bird and he laughed. 

Ushar and Vydia clambered into Kylo Ren’s ship and took the seats behind him as he started up the ship. The engine fumbled as it roared to life and they launched out of the Night Buzzard’s hangar. 

“Ushar, can you check the artillery?” Vydia said. 

Ushar muttered something under his breath she couldn’t quite make out and he trudged out of the cockpit. Once he left, Vydia wasted not time. 

“How did you know?” 

Kylo Ren didn’t even look at her when he replied. 

“You were dreaming about him this morning.” 

_Hahaha. Fuck._


	4. Changes

The Finalizer made the Night Buzzard look like a matchbox car. Vydia was thankful for her mask because, she wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to control her facial features when she gazed at the massive ship. She gaped shamelessly under her helmet. 

Usuar stood beside her, his mask’s blank gaze pointed at the window. He was probably thinking the same thing she was. . . Or not. . . It was kind of hard to tell what Ushar thought about. Out of all the Knights, he was the one she knew the least about. 

Kylo Ren steered their ship in the Finalizer’s enormous hangar and Vydia watched all the stormtroopers and other staff members she had never bothered to learn the titles of scurry around. There were easily over a hundred people just in the hangar alone! It had been so long since she had lived with people that weren’t the Knights, that it was going to be quite an adjustment. 

The ship landed with a light thud and Kylo Ren flipped a series of switches. The engines slowed to a stop and he stood up quickly. Vydia watched him walk away and she turned to Ushar. 

“Let’s fucking get it.” She said and she held out her hand for a high-five. 

_“Get what?”_ He looked down at her hand and tilted her head. 

She sighed and she grabbed his wrist, flattened his hand, and hit it against hers lightly. “It’s just an expression and this is a high-five.” 

She turned around to follow Kylo Ren and then she paused. “And, uh, don’t do that to anyone that’s not me when we’re here.” 

_“Why not?”_

“Because it would be weird.” She said and she continued to follow Kylo Ren. She heard Ushar sigh behind her. 

“Sometimes I don’t understand you, Vydia.” He said. 

“Oh, the feeling is mutual, hun.” She replied. 

As she followed Kylo Ren through the hangar, she could help but notice that everyone’s eyes were on them. It made her strangely uncomfortable, a feeling she hadn’t felt in a very long time. She could hear the workers whisper fearfully around them and that seemed to bring some ease her nerves. 

_“The Knights of Ren!”_

_“I’ve heard the big one has killed thousands!”_

_“Collectively they’ve probably killed millions.”_

_“He only brought two?”_

_“I didn’t know women could be Knights.”_

_“That’s Vydia Thyssen. She murdered her entire family.”_

_“Holy shit!”_

Her apprehension subsided and she exhaled slowly. It was clear her reputation proceeded her and she relaxed. The urge to prove herself suddenly vanished and she smirked under her helmet. 

She wished her time on the Finalizer would’ve been more productive, but she spent the entire day at Kylo Ren’s heels like a dog. Her feet ached and her stomach complained hungrily with bubbly gurgles near the end of the day. 

She tried her best not to show her discomfort, but her noisy stomach must’ve given it away because Kylo Ren shot her an annoyed look. 

“Go eat,” he snapped. “You, go with her.” 

She nodded her head and she and Ushar left his quarters. As soon as the doors shut behind her she groaned loudly. 

“Oh my gods, this is fucking torture!” She exclaimed as she stretched out her arms and back. Ushar cocked his head. 

_“It is?”_ He asked in absolute disbelief. 

“I don’t mean it literally.” She muttered as she cracked her neck. 

If any prisoner was. . . _Unwilling_ to cooperate after they spent about thirty minutes with Ushar, they were more than willing to spill their guts. Ushar prided himself on being able to break people and he was scarily good at it. 

“Come on, let’s go find commissary.” She said. 

_“Not the cafeteria?”_

“Do you want to spend the entire time eating being gawked at like a three headed Gamorrean?” She scoffed. Ushar shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the idea. 

“Well, I don’t.” She snapped. 

They found commissary with little difficulty, but of course, the only way to get to it was to walk through the cafeteria. 

_“Lead the way, three headed Gamorrean.”_ Ushar said, sounding all too pleased with himself. 

“Ha. Ha.” Vydia muttered. “Fucking hilarious.” 

Fortunately, there weren’t too many people in the cafeteria since it was fairly late, still Vydia wasn’t too keen on the idea of being that nights dinner entertainment. She sighed in annoyance and pushed through the cafeteria doors. 

Since she was already in the cafeteria she decided to suck it up and stay there. She found a seat close enough to the self serving area and she plopped down on the table. She leaned back on a pillar and used the Shadow to bring herself a nice piece of fruit. Ushar scoffed and he snatched it out of the air. 

_“Too below you to wait in line?”_

“Damn right.” She said and she caught it when he tossed it to her. She tugged off her helmet and pulled down the excess cloth that covered her neck and mouth, which earned herself a collective of gasps and whispers and she rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t supposed they expected me to eat with my helmet on, did they?” She smarted. That made Ushar rumble with the closest sound to laughter she had ever heard him make. She smiled to herself and whipped a small throwing knife out of her sleeve and peeled the fruit delicately. She bit into the fruit and sighed contently. 

When she was about halfway done with her fruit a stormtrooper with a odd looking weapon took a seat at her table. 

“Aren’t you bold?” She said. 

“That a bad thing?” The trooper said and he smiled. 

“Depends.” Vydia replied, unamused. 

“I never thought I’d live to sit face to face with a Knight of Ren.” He said. 

“The night is still young.” Vydia sunk her teeth into the tender flesh of her fruit and the stormtrooper laughed. 

“I didn’t think you guys would have a sense of humor.” He said. 

“We don’t.” 

The stormtrooper’s face fell for a moment and Vydia’s lips curled up into a smirk. The trooper chuckled nervously and Ushar scoffed. 

_“He’s going to shit himself if you keep this up.”_ Ushar muttered. 

“Sometimes I just like to watch them squirm.” She replied. 

“What did he say?” The trooper asked, his cheeks beginning to redden. 

“Nothing important.” She brushed it off. 

“So, I, uh, I was wondering what it took to become a Knight,” he said. “I’m the best fighter in my regiment and I think I could be a real asset to the team.” 

“Oh, really?” Vydia smiled icily. 

_“Don’t—”_

“Well, the first requirement is you have to be able to use the Shadow,” Vydia let her knife hover a few inches above her hand. “The second is a _good_ death.” 

“You have to be able to use the. . . Shadow?” The trooper asked. Disappointment laced his words. 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know. I didn't make the rules.” She said and she leaned back against the pillar. The stormtrooper scoffed. 

“That's a stupid requirement.” He snapped. 

Vydia shrugged. 

“You could have so many excellent fighters in your little _club_ if that wasn’t a fucking thing.” He spat. 

“We don’t want excellent,” Vydia said. “We want _elite.”_

“Elite?” He scoffed again. “You think you’re above us just because you can move things with your mind? Believe me, it’s not that impressive.” 

Vydia cocked an eyebrow and she raised her hand. The stormtrooper was flung up into the ceiling and he hit it so hard his armor shattered. She released him and he screamed as he hurtled towards the floor. She caught him, inches from the floor and then dropped him with a thud. The floor around the trooper turned yellow with piss. 

“Let’s agree to disagree.” She used the the Shadow and whisked a sandwich in her direction. She plucked it out of the air took and a bite, before she grabbed her helmet and slid off the table.

Vydia almost made it to the exit before she paused and sent another sandwich her way. She caught it and then she pushed her way through the doors. The two Knights made their way back to Kylo Ren’s quarters and Ushar stayed at the door while Vydia walked inside. 

“You could knock.” Kylo Ren said in annoyance, as he shrugged on a shirt. It looked like he had just bathed. Vydia almost smiled. He almost sounded like he used to before. . . Everything. 

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” she replied. “Think fast.” 

She tossed him the extra sandwich she snagged and he caught it. He looked at it and blinked, like he wasn’t used to people bringing him food. 

“You’re welcome.” She muttered and she made herself comfortable on the corner of his bed. She took out her own sandwich and started eating and Kylo Ren looked at her like she had grown a third head. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Eating,” she bit into her sandwich. “Plus you said I couldn’t leave your side, so. . .” 

He turned red and his face twisted with rage as he opened his mouth to more than likely yell at her. 

“Pipe down,” she snapped before he could speak. “I knew you before you dawned the name Kylo Ren, before you became a cold blooded killer, before you became the Supreme Leader. You don’t scare me.” 

“I could.” 

“Not likely.” She shrugged. Kylo Ren didn’t argue with her on that, probably because he knew it was true. “We used to be friends. Do you remember that? You used to tell me things. You trusted me.” 

“I was young and foolish back then.” 

“It’s not foolish to want basic human companionship.” She scoffed. 

“Is that why you fucked Ren?” 

_Ouch._

“That’s none of your business.” Vydia glared at him. 

“I just don’t get it.” He shook his head. 

“Then stop trying.” 

“Always quick to fire back,” he chuckled darkly. “I did forget how much I enjoyed talking to you. You don’t hold back.” 

“Nor will I ever.” She said. 

“It’s late,” he said. “Sleep in the spare room down the hall.” 

“And Ushar?” 

“Does he even sleep?” That almost sounded like a joke. It was the first almost joke she had heard in a very long time. 

“Honestly,” she laughed. “I have no clue.” 

“He can take the spare upstairs.” Kylo Ren replied. The amusement died in his eyes and she sighed. She stood up and gave him a mocking salute before she disappeared out the door. 

“Did he like his sandwich?” Ushar asked. 

“I don’t know, but he didn’t chuck it back at me so that must count for something.” She replied. Ushar nodded thoughtfully. 

“That’s a win.” He concluded. 

Vydia chuckled and she pointed to the doors down the hall. “I’m going to sleep. Kylo said there was a free room upstairs if you want it.” 

She waved goodnight and tried not to walk too eagerly to her room. When the doors shut behind her she groaned loudly. If this was how she was going to spend her entire time in the Finalizer she might as well just fall on Kylo Ren’s ignited lightsaber now. 

She sighed as she stripped off her clothes and sunk into bed contently. She prayed for a dreamless sleep, but her mind seemed to have other ideas as it dove into another memory she thought she had long forgotten. 

She and Ren were sitting in a booth at a bar she had forgotten the name of. They were sitting far enough away to look casual, but Ren didn’t have to touch her to make her feel _things_. 

“Knock it off.” She glared at him. 

“Hmm, no.” He said and he smirked as he took a sip of his drink. 

Vydia gripped her drink hard and squeezed her thighs together tightly, but nothing seemed to ease the pressure Ren had over her. She buried her face in her hands and bit her lip hard as she fought the urge to cry out. 

“Hey love, why the long face?” Cardo slid into the booth and wrapped his arm around her shoulders just as she came and she nearly threw up. Cardo was not the man whose arms she wanted to be in when she came. 

She kicked Ren in the shin hard and he grimaced. 

“Nope, nope, nope.” She muttered to herself and she slipped out of Cardo’s grip. She stood up on the seat, grabbed a handful of Ren’s hair and shoved him back into the booth, so she could climb over him. He chuckled as she stepped over him and his hands reached out to her thighs, to help? To hinder? She didn’t know so she swatted them away. Once she made it over him, she sat about two feet away from him. 

“Well, I’m not too sure what that was about, but you,” Cardo pointed to Ren. “Are a lucky, lucky, man.” 

Ren spread his arms in a what-can-I-say manner. 

“Fuck both of you.” Vydia growled. She realized she left her glass over by Cardo so she took Ren’s. 

“Hey!” 

“I don’t wanna hear it.” She snapped. 

“Damn, the kid looks so out of his element over there.” Cardo said with a laugh, jerking his hand in the direction of Ben. He looked a little overwhelmed in the corner of the busy bar. 

“Why don’t you go help him out?” Ren nudged Vydia. 

_“Me?”_

“Yes, _you.”_

“Why do I have to do it?” 

“Because you’re the only one he’ll accept help from.” Ren replies. Vydia shot him a glare, a glare she hoped said we-are-so-not-having-sex-later. 

She slid out of the booth with a roll of her eyes and walked over towards Ben. She stood next to him and leaned back against the wall behind them. 

“You look like you’re going to shit a brick.” She said. Ben jumped in surprise and looked a little bewildered that she was talking to him. 

“I, uh. . .” 

“Come on, let’s sit,” she said. “It’s been a long day for all of us.” 

Ben nodded his head and followed her to a small table on the outskirts of the crowded bar. It was quieter there and she could already see Ben start to relax, but then he noticed she was looking at him and he tensed up again. 

“I’m not going to bite.” She chuckled. 

“That’s not what Cardo says.” 

“Well, Cardo deserved those bites,” she said. “You on the other hand, haven’t done anything yet, so relax. Drink.” 

She pushed him her glass. Ben picked it up and took a long gulp. He sputtered and set the glass down quickly as he wiped his chin with his sleeve. 

“What _is_ that?” 

Vydia shrugged. “I don’t know. I stole it from Ren.” 

“It’s horrible.” 

“Yeah.” Vydia concurred. 

Ben sighed as he looked off into the crowd. His gaze bounced from object to object never settling long and never landing on her. 

“You seem nervous.” She pointed out. 

“I’m just a little jumpy after the battle is all.” He said. Vydia chuckled and she took back her drink. She took a sip and smiled at him. 

“I think you’re full of shit,” she said. “What’s wrong?” 

Ben looked at her with suspicious eyes. “Why do you care?” 

“I don’t really,” she shrugged as she sat back in her chair. “I am perfectly happy leaving you alone with a mountain of bricks to bear.” 

Ben was slightly taken back and his lips parted into a small surprised gape. Vydia couldn’t help but notice, that he was actually sort of cute when he wasn’t in his usual angsty brooding mood. She chuckled and she stood up. 

“Alright, good chat.” She began to walk past him and ruffled a hand through his thick black hair. It was softer than she thought it would be. 

“Wait,” Ben said and he grabbed her wrist. 

_“Yes?”_

“I would like to talk to you about something. . ." 


	5. A Kiss

Vydia smiled to herself and she sat down ahead of Ben again. She looked at him expectantly and he sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“What was your _good_ death?” 

All of Vydia’s smugness left her features as her smile vanished. She knocked back her drink and winced when it burned all the way down. 

“My sister.” She said. 

“What made it a _good_ death?” Ben asked slowly. 

“It hurt me, but I wanted it and did it anyways.” She replied darkly. 

“You _wanted_ to kill your sister?” 

“Yes.” 

Ben bit the inside of his lip. “Can I ask why?” 

“Gods,” she groaned and threw her head back. “We’re really gonna have this conversation? Way do put a damper on the mood, Ben.” 

“You don’t have to tell me.” 

“I’m just drunk enough to tell you, so I will because you’ll never get the chance to hear it from me again,” she said. “My sister was a sick and twisted bitch. She was about four years older than me and got off on inflicting as much emotional and physical pain as she could. 

One night, she had me pinned down and she may have been bigger and older than me, but I had a secret. I could use the Shadow. I had been honing my skills without her knowing just waiting for the moment to strike. 

That moment never really happened, so when she wanted to carve into my face for whatever the fuck reason she had, I chucked her out the window. It was only a two story fall so she was still alive when I went to check. She was crawling away from me, screaming that I was a freak, so I stabbed her about thirty times with the knife she had intended for me and then I set our home on fire which killed my father and his girlfriend.” 

Vydia slid a knife out of her belt and twirled it around skillfully. “It’s a little beat up, but it’s still my favorite knife.” 

“You killed your parents too?” 

“They let her torment me,” she shrugged. “They were just as guilty as she was.” 

Ben said nothing, but his slightly terrified expression made her chuckle. She slid her knife back into her belt and grabbed her empty glass. 

“Your _good_ death will come along,” she said. “I’m going to get another drink.” 

“What if it doesn’t?” Ben asked quickly. 

“Do you not want it to?” She asked as she set down her glass. Ben sighed heavily and he scratched the back of his neck. 

“I don’t know yet.” 

“That’s okay,” she said. “Look, not everyone is cut out for this life and if you’re not, that doesn’t mean you don’t have any other path to turn to. This is a big world and you’ll find your place eventually even if it’s not with us.” 

She stood up again and patted his shoulder as she passed him. 

When the Knights retired to their ship, Ren cornered Vydia in the hangar and pressed his lips to hers hungrily. 

“Mmm!” She pushed him away. “No! Fuck you, you made me come and Cardo had his grabby hands all over me during it. I actually wanted to shoot myself because of it.” 

“Aw, baby,” he tried to kiss her again but she turned her head to the side. “I’m sorry.” 

“You should be!” She snapped. “But just because you apologized doesn’t mean you’re gonna get laid.” 

She pushed him away again, but he grabbed her hands quickly. He wound their fingers together and pinned her up against the side of one of their smaller ships. 

“Let me make it up to you.” He said. 

“I don’t see how you can.” She glared at him and tried to twist her hands out of his. A sinful smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth and her stomach dropped. She stopped struggling and that was just enough time for Ren to scoop her up and throw her over his shoulder. 

“Put me down!” She yelped. 

“Shh!” He smacked her ass. “You don’t want the others hearing, do you?” 

She said nothing and Ren laughed at her angry silence. He carried her into a small ship and shut the small hangar door behind them. He set her down and she went to hit him. He ducked swiftly and kicked her legs out from under her. She hit the ground with a sharp gasp and Ren quickly pinned her down. 

“Are you done?” He smirked at her. 

She said nothing as she glared at him. Ren chuckled and he pressed opened mouthed kisses to the side of her jaw until he finally reached her mouth. 

“Come on, be a good girl for me.” He murmured against her lips. Vydia bit his lip and he jerked back with a grin.

“Oh? It’s going to be one of those nights?” 

Vydia smirked. “It’s going to be whatever kind of night I want it to be.”

“Mmm,” Ren smiled widely. “I like the sound of that. So where do we begin, love?” 

“Where we started,” she kissed him roughly. “Make it up to me.” 

Ren smiled against her mouth and slowly began to strip off her armor. Soon, she laid naked and breathless under his lips and Ren looked up at her with hooded eyes as his kisses slid down the smooth muscle of her stomach. 

He had never done this to her before, so she watched him with curious eyes as he settled comfortably between her thighs. He pressed a kiss to her inner thigh and he slipped a slender leg over his shoulder. 

He took his time, kissing her slowly as he dragged his tongue over her languidly. She threw her head back and moaned softly. Her hands dove into his thick hair and he hummed in approval, which made her squirm in his firm grip. 

“Oh fuck!” She hissed and she grabbed his hair roughly. Two fingers delved into her and curled just right and that was enough to send her tumbling over the edge. 

She didn’t know how long he had her pinned down for. Long enough for her to lose count on how many times she came. She came down from her hundredth high. Her skin was slick with sweat and other suspicious liquids and Ren crawled out from between her legs to kiss her. 

“How was that?” He asked breathlessly. 

She still couldn’t quite talk yet, so she just nodded her head enthusiastically. Ren chuckled and he kissed her again. 

“Good,” he sighed contently. “Have I redeemed myself?” 

“Oh, yes.” She murmured against his lips. Her hands slid down his rough torso and grasped at his belt. Ren smiled into her kiss and pulled away slowly. 

"I thought you said I wasn't going to get laid?" He chuckled. 

"You're right, how could I forget!" She said sarcastically and she pushed him off of her. Vydia tried to cover up her slight stumble with a slow stretch and judging by the level of Ren's gaze, she succeeded. 

"Oh no you don't!" He scrambled to his feet and pinned her up against the metal wall of the aircraft. She let out a small noise of complaint when her chest pressed up against the chilly metal, but kept her hips flush against his encouragingly. 

"You're going to be the death of me, Vydia." Ren whispered in her ear as he unbuckled his belt. 

"That's the point." She said and she kissed him hard. 

Vydia’s dreamscape faded quickly as she woke up with a gasp. She sat up abruptly and her gaze focused on the shape that was sitting in the dark corner of her room. 

“No one taught you the importance of boundaries, did they?” She said in annoyance. 

“You dream about him a lot.” Kylo Ren said. His mask was back on. 

_Well, I haven’t been laid in forever,_ is what she wanted to say, but she bit her tongue. “I’d appreciate it if you stayed the fuck out of my head.” 

Kylo Ren shrugged his broad shoulders and tilted his head to the side. “It’s impossible to read your thoughts when you’re conscious and I’m still trying to decide whether or not I can trust you.”

“You can’t,” she snapped. “But then again you can’t trust anyone else on this ship either. So what makes me so special?” 

“You are the only one who could defeat me if you wanted to,” He stood up and began to walk towards her door. “Get dressed.” 

Her doors shut behind him and she groaned into her pillow. She crawled out of bed and quickly threw on her clothes. She slung her sword over her shoulder and when she walked towards her door to leave, they slid open and a redheaded man was standing in front of her. 

He stiffened in surprise, but quickly tried to regain his smug composure by dragging his hands down his pressed uniform. 

“Vydia, I presume?” 

“Knight, to you,” the blank stare of her mask was inches from his. “To what do I owe the pleasure, General?” 

She flicked the medals on his breast and he frowned. He took a step back and cleared his throat. 

“You humiliated one of our riot control troopers—”

“Ah, that explains the nonlethal weapon.” Vydia chuckled to herself. 

“—and I want you to know there will be consequences if anything like that happens again.” He said. 

“They’ll be _what?”_ Her tone darkened. 

“You heard me.” He stuck his nose in the air. 

With a twitch of her finger, the General slid back, his polished boots squealed obnoxiously against the glossy black floor, and he slammed into the wall across from them. Vydia walked slowly towards him as he struggled in her grip. 

“Listen to me closely, General,” she said lowly. “I don’t answer to you or any of you posh little ants—” 

_“Why you—”_

She pressed the flat of her dagger to his lips and he swallowed hard. “Now, now, I wasn’t finished. If you ever, threaten me again. I will disembowel you and string you up with your own organs right there.” 

She used her knife and pointed next to her door. “You’d make quite the little conversation piece: ‘Oh look, there’s the General, who thought it would be a good idea to throw his weight around like a child in front of a Knight.’ Nod if you understand me.” 

The General nodded quickly. 

“Good,” she smiled under her mask. “Run along now.” 

She released the General from her grip and he stumbled slightly as he gaped at her. At the end of the hall she saw Kylo Ren and Ushar waiting for her. 

“Supreme Leader! Are you just going to let her do that to me?!” 

“I’m surprised she didn’t do it sooner.” Kylo Ren replied, completely unfazed. Vydia chuckled and she slid her dagger back into its sheath as she continued down the hall. 

She spent the rest of the day glued to Kylo Ren’s side. It was just as tedious as it as it was the day before. She couldn’t help but doze off into a day dream. 

It had been about a two weeks since Ben had unofficially joined the Knights. He kept his head low, wasn’t keen on making friends with anyone really. Though, he seemed to have had a soft spot for Vydia. She noticed that he would only smile or laugh with her, but he would only interact with her if she prompted it. 

They were training one afternoon and he was giving her a run for her money, of course she had never fought someone who was trained to become a Jedi, so his techniques were unknown to her.

Eventually, her excessive years of fighting to the death won out and she pinned him down below her. He groaned in frustration and she smiled as she climbed off of him. 

“How do you do that?” 

“Do what?” She asked as she helped him off the floor. 

“You always manage to beat me even if I start off winning.” He said. 

She laughed. “That’s exactly your problem. You fight to win, I fight to kill.” 

“Isn’t that the same thing?” 

“No, it’s not,” she said. “You’ll understand when you get in a real fight.” 

“I’ve been in real fights!” He said defensively. 

“You’ve been in a fight where you are trying to kill the other guy and the other guy is trying to kill you?” She smirked at him when his brow furrowed. 

“Well. . . Not exactly.” 

“My point exactly,” she said with a soft laugh. “Look, don’t worry about it. You’ll get better over time. Until then, I’ll have your back.” 

She turned to grab her water, but Ben grabbed her hand quickly. 

“You really mean that?” 

“Of course,” she said. “If anyone fucks with—”

 _One of us they, they fuck with all of us_ , was what she was going to say, but Ben cut her off by pulling her into a kiss. 

Vydia was stunned at first and she couldn’t move for a second. It wasn’t a very skillful kiss. His teeth kind of knocked into hers and he didn’t quite know where to put his hands, so they stayed on her arms. That being said, his lips were soft against hers and almost compelled her to kiss him back, but she didn’t. 

She pulled back and and Ben’s face was bright red. Now that she thought about it, that was probably his first kiss. She knew the Jedi weren’t very keen on sexual relationships and she felt bad that Ben had wasted his first kiss on her, someone who didn’t quite return the same feelings he had. 

“I, uh, sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t know why I did that.” 

“I’m flattered, Ben,” she cleared her throat. “But, um, I’m not. . . This can’t happen.” 

“Yeah. . . I get it,” he said and his shoulders slumped in defeat as he let her go. “Can we forget it happened?”

“Sure,” she said slowly. “I, uh, I’m gonna bathe.” 

She tried not to rush out of the training room, but when she made it back to her room she exhaled sharply and chucked her dagger into the room, without really looking. 

“Woah, easy there, baby.” Ren put his hands up in surrender and the dagger was buried into the mattress inches away from his thigh. 

“Oh shit, sorry,” she muttered and she ran her hands over her face, then she froze and glared at him. “Wait, what are you even doing in here?” 

Normally their little rendezvous took place when everyone was asleep. It was very bold and unlike him to show up in the middle of the day especially in her room. She liked Ren, but her room was her safe space. 

“I’m here to gloat a little.” He smirked at her and she groaned. 

“Oh no!” She buried her face in her hands. “You saw that?!” 

“I told you he had a crush on you,” he chuckled. “Not that I can blame him, you are simply irresistible.” 

“Ugh! Fuck you.” She mumbled into her hands. 

Ren stood up and pulled her into his chest. He chuckled as he kissed the top of her head and only held her tighter when she tried to wiggle out of his grip. 

“You’re so fucking—”

“Perfect? Generous? Loving? Kind—?”

“Infuriating!” She pushed him away from her, but his hands stayed wrapped around her waist. “Let me go!” 

“Well, you still fuck me, so I can’t be that infuriating.” He smiled down at her. She glared at him, which only seemed to make his smile wider. 

“I could be hate-fucking you.” She smarted. Ren’s smile turned into a sly smirk as he leaned in to let his lips brush hers. 

“Are you?” 

“Sometimes,” she smirked back as she slipped out of his grip. “Now, I’m going to bathe.” 

She walked towards the washroom door and tossed a flirtatious look behind her. “And you’re going to join me.” 

Ren didn’t need to be told twice. 


	6. Death

  
Vydia slowly snapped out of her stupor when Kylo Ren began to move again. She and Ushar followed him down the hall and into the control room. She could practically see the wave of unease that fell over the officers as they walked in, but she didn’t know if it was from her or Ushar, or just Kylo Ren alone. 

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo Ren was greeted stiffly by the redheaded General Vydia was already familiar with. “Everything is going according to plan, sir. I have no doubt we will find the little scavenger rat and crush her resistance friends in no time.” 

“Good.” Kylo Ren didn’t elaborate. 

_The scavenger!_

That reminded her that Kuruk was one of the Knights that was supposed to find her. Vydia wondered how well that was going and if it was any better than what she was doing. Who was she kidding? Of course it was better. A pang of jealousy made her frown and her fingers twitched as they resisted the urge to form into a fist. 

After about an hour of losing her mind from all the boring chatter among the officers, Kylo Ren finally decided to retire for the night. He disappeared into his quarters and Vydia returned to hers. 

She shed her uniform and exhaled contently when she took her helmet off. She slipped on a plain black sheath and sat on the edge of her cot. Her mind cycled through the memory she had been exploring earlier that day and she chewed the inside of her lip. 

Ben had feelings for her. She knew that, but did that mean Kylo Ren had feelings for her too? He never acted like he did, but to be fair, neither did Ben. Did those feelings die when Ben did? Was that why he treated her like he did? 

_. . . Or. . . Does he treat me like an enemy because those feelings didn’t die?_

Vydia groaned. 

“Let’s face it,” she muttered to herself. “You’ll never fucking understand him.” 

She shot up as a presence passed her door. It was Kylo Ren. 

_Where was he off to so late?_

“No,” she said. “It’s none of my business.” 

She rolled her eyes as she curled up on her cot and pulled her covers over her shoulder. She shut her eyes tightly and sighed. 

“Shit.” She mumbled.

She climbed out of bed and tugged on a pair of pants and a more casual halter style top. She slipped on her soundless boots and quickly made her way out of her room. 

She followed her senses as she turned around corner after corner. Was. . . Was he headed to the cafeteria? 

She turned around another corner cautiously and quickly backtracked when she saw him. She hoped he didn’t see her and her heart slammed against her ribcage like a hammer. She heard a second set of doors slam shut, the ones to commissary she assumed, and she quickly snuck inside the cafeteria. She used the Shadow to soften the sound of them closing and when she turned around she gasped.

Kylo Ren stood there with his arms folded over his chest and an unamused look rested on his mask-less face. 

“Fancy seeing you here?” Vydia said with a fake smile. 

“Why were you following me?” He snapped. 

“I just wanted a snack.” She shrugged. 

Kylo Ren frowned and he shifted his arms, probably to use the Shadow on her and she put her hands up in surrender quickly. 

“Wait, wait, okay,” she said and she needed to come up with an excuse quick. “I wanted to talk. Alone.” 

“Then talk.” 

She huffed in annoyance and then sighed, trying to buy herself as much time as she could. 

_Come on! Something! Think of something anything that doesn’t make you look like the nosy little bitch you are!_

Then it hit her like a ton of bricks and before she could stop herself before she said it. “Do you remember when you kissed me?” 

Kylo Ren bristled and she felt his grip settle around her. He slammed her up against the closest wall and cleared the distance between them quickly with his long legs. She tired to move, but she couldn’t. She was frozen in place against the wall. 

His chest nearly touched hers as he bared down on her. She could feel his breath on her lips and she swallowed hard. She tired her best to keep her eyes from wandering, but her gaze seemed to have other ideas when it fluttered over his features. 

He looked almost the same, maybe a bit more tired. The scar was new and something she did her best never to mention or look at, but it fit his Kylo Ren persona to a T. His hair still looked just as soft as it did before and she thought that if she looked hard enough, she could still see the kid that was worried about his good death. 

“I thought we agreed not to bring that up. Ever.” He growled. 

“Well, I mean. . .” She slowly trailed off when he glared down at her. “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine. Let me go.” 

He continued to glare at her. 

“Let me go.” She she said lowly. 

“No.” 

“No?”

“I remember.” He said begrudgingly through gritted teeth. 

_Well, I’m glad it was a happy memory for him,_ Vydia thought to herself as she fought the urge to roll her eyes. 

“Why did you do it?” 

“Why did you fuck Ren?” 

“Oh my gods! Will you just let it go?!” She snapped. “It was a lapse in proper judgement, a fling, nothing fucking personal, okay? Gods, if it bothers you much—” 

She stopped talking abruptly. _Oh._

_Oh shit._

Kylo Ren’s eyes narrowed as realization suddenly dawned on her. Her features slackened and her lips parted in shock before she spoke quietly. 

“You’re jealous.” 

Kylo Ren reared back and she felt his grip leave her. She exhaled sharply and when she went to move, he spun back around and held her in place. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kylo Ren growled as he shoved his face back in hers. 

“Then prove me wrong.” 

“Why would I be jealous that Ren got to have an easy fuck, like you?” 

Vydia couldn’t help it. She smiled. Maybe his words would’ve hurt if they had any semblance of the truth behind them, but considering Ren was the only man she had ever had sex with, they only amused her. 

“You have known me for more than half a decade, Kylo Ren,” she said. “When have you ever known me to be easy?” 

His fist shot out and he grabbed her throat and roughly pulled her face towards his. This kiss (if you could even call it that) wasn’t much better than their last. This time there was no hesitation in resisting the kiss. His concentration broke as did his hold on her and she squirmed in his arms. He pinned her arms to her sides and she growled against his mouth. 

She bit down on his bottom lip and slammed her head into his (and simultaneously realized head-butting was way less painful with her helmet on). He jerked back with a cry and his hand jumped up to his throbbing bloody lip. Vydia stepped towards him and punched him in the face. It barely seemed to affect him, but she hoped it got her point across. 

“If you ever touch me like that again,” she snarled. “I’ll fucking kill you.” 

She didn’t give him the chance to respond before she spun on her heels and stormed out of the cafeteria. She was absolutely fuming. Who the fuck did he think he was?! 

A small group of Stormtroopers marched down the hall ahead of her and instead of walking around them, she used the Shadow and split their group in half. They were tossed into the walls beside them like leaves in the wind as she walked through the hall. 

“Hey! What the fuck?!” 

With a growl she spun around and sent him spinning down the hall with nothing, but an empty hand.

When she finally reached her room she drew her sword and with a cry slashed it down the wall. The flexible blade buzzed and crackled loudly as it sliced through the metal. She didn’t know how many times she cut down that stupid wall, but it was enough that she was sweating and out of breath. 

She straightened her sword and slid it back into its sheathe. She wiped her face clean of the traitorous tears that slid down her cheeks. With a sigh she looked up at the wall that was now littered with deep cuts. 

_Some things never change. . ._

Her mind leapt back in time to the day Ren was killed. 

She was fighting someone, a young Jedi, but her mind somehow forgot about what they were doing there in the first place, how they got there, why they were there. . . All she remembered, was seeing Kylo Ren—Ben, seeing Ben and Ren tumbled through the air. Lightning surrounded Ben as they fell. It was unlike anything she had seen before. 

“Here’s your good death!” Ben screamed as his blade pierced Ren, straight through the heart. As soon as Ben’s lightsaber struck Ren, she felt it. The Darkness. It ignited Ben, filling him and the air around him. It was suffocating and cold. The bright lightning surged around him, throwing everyone off their feet. 

Vydia cried out as she slammed into a pillar. She shook her head as she clambered onto her hands and knees. She couldn’t take her eyes off Ren. He was dead. The gaping hole in his burnt chest still smoked, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t cry. She couldn’t run to him, hold him one last time, kiss him one last time, nothing. Hell, she couldn’t even see his face one last time because of that stupid mask he wore!

She couldn’t do a damn thing, but watch. 

The young Jedi she had subdued, crawled towards her weapon, but Ben beat her to it. She cried out as Ben used the Force to steal her weapon from her. 

“Ben,” she whispered. “You killed him. You killed the Knights’ master. Ren.” 

“Of course I did,” he said. “I’m a murderer, remember?” 

Vydia stopped listening at that point. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She didn’t even get to tell him. . . Tell him she loved him. 

The ignition of a lightsaber finally broke her free of her plaguing thoughts, and she looked over to see Ben standing over the Jedi. She was dead. Ben killed her too. 

The rest of the Knights rose to their feet, only to bow at his. Vydia did the same, but her eyes stayed on Ren. Tears welled up in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. 

The battle was over. Ren was dead. Ben was now the leader. 

She felt numb as she followed the Knights back to their ship. No one said anything as they boarded. While she had lost a lover, they had lost a friend, but no one dared to show any emotion in front of their new leader. She could feel it though. Guilt and mourning hung over them like heavy grey clouds. 

She crept off into her room, in hopes that no one would notice her absence. When her doors slid shut behind her, she sunk to the floor, flung off her helmet and sobbed. Her body heaved as she cried and she wrapped her arms around her shins and pulled her knees into her body as close as she could. 

Soon her cries of anguish, turned into anger. She was angry at herself, she was angry at Ben, she was angry at Ren. . . She jumped to her feet and drew her sword. It blazed to life in her hands. Sparks of energy surged in the spaces between the blades and she swung it hard down her wall. 

It made an ugly screech of metal on metal, but the slice was satisfying. She swung her sword, again and again, until all the strength had left her body and her wall was a gouged out like a chunk of old wood preyed on by the elements. 

She sheathed her sword and collapsed on the floor to sleep and prayed that her dreams would offer her some solace. They didn’t though. They never did. 

Vydia sighed. 

She was still upset, but sadness now crept into her anger. She couldn’t sleep now. She was far too strung up to fall asleep, even if she could feel the heavy exhaustion set in on her bones. She groaned as she tossed her sword onto her bed and pulled on a her cloak. 

She made her way down to one of the communication rooms. When she stepped inside all heads turned towards her and the workers froze. 

“Leave.” She said darkly. 

Everyone quickly rose to their feet and left the room. Vydia sighed as she sat down at one of the stations and slipped on a headset. She flipped to the same frequency the Night Buzzard was on and turned off the recording. This was a transmission that no one else needed to hear. 

She closed her eyes as she tried to settle her mind. She reached out in the Shadow to Kuruk. It took a second, but soon she felt him. He was speaking to what seemed to be a high ranking stormtrooper and she couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, but he stiffened and stopped talking when he felt her presence. 

“Sir?” 

“I have to go,” Kuruk said. “We can finish this conversation later.” 

“But—”

Kuruk swiftly made his way towards the cockpit and pulled his helmet off. He put on his headset and Vydia exhaled when she could hear him sigh through her headset. 

“What do you want?” He scoffed. “I was in the middle of something.” 

“Gods, it’s good to hear your voice.” She said softly. 

“What happened?” Worry suddenly spiked his tone. Vydia bit her bottom lip as she contemplated whether or not she should tell him what was going on. 

“Vydia,” he said her name firmly. “What’s wrong?” 

“I—” she sighed. “I don’t know where to start.” 

“Anywhere,” he said. “Start anywhere.” 

She told him everything. She told him that she loved Ren, like really loved him, not the lies she had told him or anyone else before. She told him about what she felt when she watched Ren die. She told him about Ben and when he kissed her. She told him about her most recent encounter with the wayward Kylo Ren. She told him fucking everything. It all came flooding out of her like the dam that kept her feelings trapped had come tumbling down. 

Kuruk listened patiently and when she was finished he exhaled sharply. 

“Holy shit.” He whispered. 

“Yeah. . .” 

“Holy fucking shit, V.” She could practically see him running his hands over his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Yeah.” 

“So. . .” Kuruk chewed the inside of his lip. “Do you want to kill Kylo Ren?” 

“I did.” She said. 

“And _now?”_

“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “I spent so long trying to deny my feelings for Ren, that for the longest time I didn’t even know I loved him. How could I kill someone over the death of someone I refused to let myself truly love?” 

“Gods you’re complicated.” Kuruk sighed. 

“I wanted to kill Kylo Ren,” Vydia said slowly. “But I could never allow myself to hurt Ben. I helped train him. We were friends. I cared about him.” 

“Did you love Ben?” 

“I don’t know, but I guess we’ll never know now,” she scoffed and then she laughed icily. “Man, this is so fucked.” 

“Yeah it is,” Kuruk agreed. “But I think it was far worth my time than that stormtrooper was going to be.” 

“Ha. Ha. Revel in my misery.” She muttered. 

“I can’t help that your love life is far more entertaining than mine is.” Kuruk said and she could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Now there’s still the problem of getting Kylo Ren off my back.” She sighed. 

Kuruk laughed. 

“What?”

“Vydia, you’re so dense some times.” 

“What are you talking about?!” 

“Give the poor man what he wants!” Kuruk said. 

“You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?” 

“Fuck him.” 

“Oh, goodie. You are.” 

“He was training to be a Jedi for gods sake,” Kuruk said. “He’s definitely a virgin. One night with you would have him begging at your feet.” 

“Kuruk!” 

“Am I wrong?!” 

Vydia said nothing and Kuruk chuckled to himself. 

“Or don’t fuck him and live forever under his thumb,” he shrugged. “Your choice.” 

“Do you think. . . He wants me?” 

“He wouldn’t have kissed you, _twice,_ if he didn’t.” 

Vydia huffed in annoyance as she folded her arms over her chest. “Maybe you’re right.” 

“I’m always right.” He said. 

“Who are you talking to?” A deep voice said behind her. 

She nearly jumped out of her skin, but she kept her cool as she turned around to see Kylo Ren standing behind her. 

“Kuruk.” 

“What did you fuck him too?” 

“I’m not his type.” Vydia snapped and she shut off the transmission. 

“Hmph.” 

“It’s late. I’m going to sleep,” she said as she stood up. “Nice face.” 

A large purple bruise was beginning to blossom across his right cheek. It looked like it hurt just as bad as her knuckles did. His brow twitched in annoyance, but he didn’t stop her as she walked past him.


	7. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the moment we've all been waiting for...

Vydia spent the next two days ignoring Kylo Ren. He seemed to be just as done with her as she was him, because he loosened her leash and decided her time sulking could be used better and let her train some of the stormtroopers, the ones who focused more on hand to hand, like the riot control troopers. It was below her, but she didn’t mind beating the shit out of cocky boys who thought they owned the world. 

At the end of a training session, Vydia sighed as she sat down on one of the benches. The recruits shuffled out of the room while she drank some water and began to unwrap her hands. She tossed her wraps onto the bench without looking and tucked the stray hairs that came loose from her braid, behind her ears. She stiffened when she felt his presence and she turned around slowly. 

“Supreme Leader.” She greeted him unenthusiastically. 

“How is the training going?” 

“Well enough,” she replied. “Half the class was definitely. . . Humbled.” 

“Not surprising,” Kylo Ren replied. “You’re an excellent fighter.” 

“Flattery will get you no where.” Vydia said as she gathered up her wraps. She padded towards the door, but Kylo Ren grabbed her upper arm as she walked past him and stopped her. She gave him a hard look and he let her go quickly. 

“Spar with me.” He said. 

She sighed. 

“Is that an order or a request?” She asked. 

He hesitated. “A request.” 

Vydia’s gaze jumped from his mask’s blank stare to the exit as she pondered her answer quickly. 

“Fine.” 

She couldn’t remember the last time they had spared together. She turned around and set her wraps back onto the bench. She sat down and looked at him expectantly. 

“Strip.” She said. 

“What?” She thought he nearly choked. 

“You don’t expect us to fight when you’re in full armor and I’m in,” she gestured to her casual workout clothing, which consisted of form fitting pants, a form fitting long sleeve shirt, and bare feet. “This, do you?” 

Kylo Ren said nothing and he slipped off his helmet. Her fickle heart fluttered when he began to undo the top half of his armor. She looked down at her hands in hopes of finding a distraction, but they offered no relief. 

When he was finished undressing, they padded to the center of the cushiony mats and faced each other. Gods, he was massive. His size somehow seemed to elude her most days, but in moments like this, when she could really see that he was nearly a foot taller than her, she wanted to shoot herself for being as short as she was. 

Without a word she struck first. Despite his size, he moved surprisingly fast, faster than she remembered, but then again, he was more refined now than he was before. It was more of a dance than a fight. Each strike was parried to perfection on either side. 

Vydia let out a low growl of frustration and she decided to spice it up a little. She ducked between his legs, popped up behind him, and kicked the back of one his knees hard. He dropped to his knees with a grunt and she wrapped an arm around his throat. He choked in her grip and tried to pry her arm off his neck, but his actions held no avail. He fell back in hopes of crushing her under his body weight, but she clung on. 

Kylo Ren tapped out with a frustrated groan and she released him. He stood up and rubbed his throat tenderly with one hand as he held out the other to help her off the floor. Vydia clambered to her feet and tried her best to hide the smug satisfaction she was feeling. 

“Again.” That was an order. 

She sighed and nodded her head. 

The next round lasted significantly longer, but Vydia was beginning to near the end of her rope. She blamed that on her shitty stamina, for she was already tired since she had been teaching beforehand, and by then, she was exhausted. Still, she refused to back down. Sweat dripped down her spine and dotted her forehead. 

Kylo Ren struck fast and hard and she dodged it, but was too slow to block his kick. She hit the mats hard and he was quick to pin her down. 

They both froze for a moment. His face was inches from hers and his long dark hair brushed against her cheeks. They panted. She could feel his warm breath on her lips and she could feel her cheeks beginning to heat up with blush. 

His dark eyes searched hers and they traveled down her face and lingered on her parted lips. His tongue darted out to wet his and Vydia groaned internally. It was now or never. 

She leaned up quickly and pressed her lips to his. Kylo Ren made a small noise of surprise, but didn’t protest when she flipped them over and straddled his waist. He sat up on the mats and his long fingers splayed out on her thighs as he gripped her hard. 

Vydia sighed against his mouth as she wove her fingers through his thick hair. She shut her eyes hard as she tried her best not to think as she kissed him, but her hatred for Kylo Ren still lingered at the edges of her mind, keeping her from truly enjoying the moment (not that she really wanted to). 

She really did hate him, but Ben. . . That was someone she could kiss. She would’ve too if she had not already been with Ren at the time. Too little to late, I suppose, she thought to herself. 

Though, she didn’t appreciate the person she was kissing, she couldn’t help but notice, that this kiss was significantly better than the ones they had shared in the past. It was still a little rough around the edges, but she didn’t mind that. 

One of Kylo Ren’s hands slipped behind her head and his mouth slowly drifted off of hers. He yanked her head back and she gasped. His lips slid down her throat and his teeth raked across her smooth flesh. 

A sharp gasp escaped Vydia’s parted lips when Kylo Ren stood up. He lifted her up with him and pinned her up against the closest wall. Vydia pulled away from his mouth to pull her shirt over her head and Kylo Ren’s brow furrowed when he realized her chest was bound, but he didn’t say anything about it when he took the knife off her waist and sliced through it. 

Vydia could see the pleasant surprise in his eyes when the wrappings fell away. She wasn’t a heavy chested woman, but her breasts were far larger than she let on. She didn’t like the idea of being sexualized on or off the battlefield. She didn’t want her enemies looking at her and seeing a woman. She wanted them to look at her and see Death. 

Kylo Ren licked his lips hungrily before he began to press sloppy kisses down her chest to the curves of her breasts. His hands stayed on her thighs to support her, but she gently guided one hand to her chest, just to let him know he could touch her. 

He got the message quickly and wasted no time grasping firmly at her soft skin, while his tongue played circles on the other. She moaned softly as his mouth exploded her flesh, but couldn’t help but notice some differences between Kylo Ren and her previous lover. 

Ren was experienced. Very, experienced. He moved with purposeful precision, while Kylo Ren moved to learn. Of course, Ren moved that way too in the beginning, but it had been far too long since Vydia had been touched by skilled hands and she could tell the difference because of it. 

Kylo Ren unhooked her legs from around his hips and set her down. His hands immediately went to her pants and he slid them and her underwear down just far enough. He spun her around quickly and she could hear him reach for his belt. 

“Wait!” She said quickly. 

There was no way she was going to let him fucking rail her against that wall without some kind of foreplay, especially not since the largest thing that had been inside her had been her own two fingers for gods know how long. 

But of course, Kylo Ren had other plans when he thrust himself inside of her roughly. Vydia gritted her teeth as she tried not to cry out and whipped around with a glare. 

“Fuck you!” She hissed and she hit his chest with an open palm. He grabbed her hands and quickly pinned them to the wall as he jerked his hips back. He slammed his hips into hers and she gasped loudly. 

He pressed his forearm into her shoulders and shoved her against the wall as he thrust in and out of her roughly. Vydia let out a growl and she threw an elbow back towards his chin. He grunted in pain and jerked back. She quickly turned around and snuck a foot behind his and he landed on his ass as he tripped. 

She straddled him quickly and wrapped her fingers around his throat tightly. His own fingers bit into her bare waist just above her pants that hung low on her hips. 

“That wasn’t very nice.” She said lowly. 

“You’re not a very nice girl.” Kylo Ren swallowed hard and his Adam’s apple bobbed under her palm.

 _“Hmph._ ” She climbed off of him and pulled up her pants quickly. The elastic-like waistband snapped loudly against her skin and she didn’t look at him as she reached down and grabbed her shirt. 

A hand latched onto her braid and jerked her back. His chest was slick with a thin layer of sweat against her back and his lips brushed the shell of her ear as his free arm rested between been breasts and his hand gripped her throat.

“Don’t leave.” He whispered breathlessly. 

Vydia chuckled and felt him, hot and heavy on her lower back, just above her backside. “Give me a reason not to.” 

He spun her around, his hand still iron on her throat and he pressed his lips to hers. His other hand slid behind her back and pushed her body up against his. She moaned softly into his rough kisses and she didn’t protest when his fingers slipped into the waistband of her pants. 

He slid them down, savoring how they caught along her curves. She stepped out of them and Kylo Ren lifted her up gently. He walked them over to the closest wall and the cool metal felt nice along her back. 

With his lips still pressed to hers, he slipped an arm under one of her thighs and then another. She broke the kiss, but he paid no mind, for his lips just found another place to keep themselves busy. His kisses slid down her body as he lifted her up higher. 

“What—?”

Once the apex of her thighs were at his head level, she got it. She held her breath. Kylo Ren gave no warning when he buried his face in between her legs and she cried out as she thrust her hands into his thick dark hair. 

“Someone–!” Vydia bit back a moan. “Someone could walk in!” 

His shoulders shrugged under her thighs, but his lips and tongue never strayed from their mission. Vydia threw her head back and gasped for air as she neared the end of her rope. Her fingers latched onto his hair roughly and he groaned against her. The vibrations were just enough to send her tumbling over the edge and she cried out loudly. 

“Fuck!” She hissed. 

Kylo Ren didn’t slow down and had her right on the edge again in a matter of moments. She came two more times before he finally lowered her and she kissed him hard. They gazed at each other as they both took a second to catch their breath and then Kylo Ren shifted her in his grip so he could slip himself back inside her. He dragged himself along her, gathering up her wetness and then he paused, asking for permission silently. 

Vydia nodded her head and bit her lip hard as he slipped inside her. He groaned and pressed his forehead to her chest. His warm breath and hair tickled her skin and she felt him press a kiss to her sternum, before he pulled his hips back. 

They moved slowly, savoring every touch, every kiss, every stroke, like it was the last. She wound her hands back up his hair and he pressed his swollen lips back on hers. Vydia moaned against his mouth and then let out a sharp gasp when she felt something stir at the apex of her thighs. Both of his hands were iron on her thighs (and were sure to leave bruises on them when they were done) and she chuckled against his lips, but deepened the kiss in silent appreciation. 

Kylo Ren broke the kiss to slide them across her jaw and up her cheek. When his lips returned to hers, they tasted like salt. Was she crying? She didn’t even notice. He did, but the tears didn’t stop him. 

His thrusts grew sloppier as he neared his end, but was determined to have her finish with him. The invisible fingers sped up and her fingernails bit into his broad shoulders as she moaned. She came first, but he followed suit quickly and they both groaned. 

They stayed there for a moment, still joined together, dripping. Her fingers ran through his hair softly. Kylo Ren’s gaze landed on her lips and she thought he would kiss her again, but he didn’t. Instead he sighed and slipped out of her gently. 

He set her down and took a step away from her as he ran a large hand through his hair. He tucked himself back into his pants and tugged them up. Vydia said nothing as she grabbed her pants and slipped them on. She grabbed her shirt and pulled it on over her head. 

“This was a mistake.” Kylo Ren said suddenly. 

Vydia looked up at him in surprise. 

“What?” 

“You heard me,” he said. “It’ll never happen again.” 

Vydia fought the urge to say something unsavory and instead she shrugged. “Fine.” 

She straightened her clothes, grabbed her hand wraps, and left the training room. When she finally reached her room she curled up on her bed, pulled her knees into her chest and wept.   
She didn’t even remember calling asleep, but she must’ve, for a dreamscape rippled to life. 

Vydia sprinted through one of the many twisted hallways of the Night Buzzard. She skidded to a halt at Ben’s door and it slid open with a rumble. She stormed inside and saw Ben bent over his desk. An ominous red glow illuminated from his closed fist and he turned around slowly when he heard her. 

“The blast–!” Vydia panted. “I thought–You’re bleeding!” 

Ben said nothing as she grabbed a rag and reached for his hand gently. When he opened his fist a crystal, no larger than the the length of her thumb, was resting in his palm. It was a bright burning red and cracked into two pieces. Blood trickled down his hand and down his forearm. 

“Is that. . .?” Her eyes grew wide at the sight of the legendary Kyber crystal. 

Ben still didn’t speak. He barely even looked at her. He took his hand out of hers and returned his attention back to the lightsaber hilt on his table. 

“You should leave.” He said, finally. 

“Ben. . .” 

He bristled, his lips drawn back in a feral snarl. _“Don’t call me that!”_

Vydia flinched, but she narrowed her eyes at him. “It’s your name.” 

“No!” He yelled. “No, it’s not! Ben. . . Ben is dead.” 

“Then what should I call you?” Vydia asked softly. 

Ben turned around and slipped the fragmented crystal into the hilt of a new lightsaber, one crudely fashioned and seemingly just as unstable as the way he was acting at the moment. 

He ignited the lightsaber and it blazed to life with a loud twang. His face grew even more grim in the fiery light. 

“Kylo Ren.” 


	8. Emend

Vydia woke hours later to a hand on her shoulder. She lunged out of bed and tackled the blurry figure in front of her and her weapon shot into her hand. The point of its deadly blade lay inches from—

“Kuruk!” Vydia gasped.

She scrambled off of him and quickly helped him off the floor. “What are you doing here?”

“Kylo Ren found a lead,” he said. “We’re leaving in ten.”

“Shit!” Vydia darted into her washroom and quickly rinsed her mouth and tossed on her combat suit. She came out of the bathroom and slipped on her boots. “Oh, um, I have something to tell you...”

“I’m flattered, V,” she could practically see the smirk under Kuruk’s mask. “But we can’t be together. It’s not you, it’s me.”

“Ha. Ha. You’re so funny,” Vydia scoffed. “But no. That’s not it. I did it, or rather him.”

“No fucking way,” Kuruk breathed. “How was it? Is he. . ?”

“It wasn’t bad,” Vydia shrugged as she pulled her hair into a braid. “A little rough, but that’s not a bad thing. And yeah, he’s huge.”

“I fucking knew it!” Kuruk barked with laughter. “And now what? How do you stand with him?”

“He said it was a mistake and we haven’t spoken since,” she replied. “To be fair, it happened last night so there’s time for change. But I still can’t wrap my mind around him. He’s so bipolar.”

“No one can wrap their mind around him,” Kuruk chuckled. “So. . . Who was better?”

“Ren. Definitely Ren,” Vydia replied without any hesitation. “That man was a fucking god in the in between sheets.”

“Yeah, well, he was also a whore,” Kuruk tilted his head to the side. “Though, now that I think of it, it seemed he gave up his slutty ways when he met you.”

Vydia shrugged her shoulders. “That’s not surprising.”

“Were you two exclusive?” He asked as they made their way out of her room and down the hallway. Vydia shook her head.

“Well, I mean, we didn’t exactly talk about being exclusive,” she said. “But I didn’t have sex with anyone but him and as far as I know he didn’t have sex with anyone but me.”

“Right, right,” Kuruk nodded. “You had him wrapped around your pretty little finger.”

“I did not!” Vydia snapped.

“Sure.” Kuruk chuckled.

The two Knights grew quiet when they finally joined the rest of the Knights in the hangar. Cardo let out a loud cat-call when Vydia came into view and she mentally gagged.

“The absolute love of my life! Did you miss me, baby?” Before she could react, he snagged her hand and pulled her into his chest. She jerked her knee into his crotch and when he doubled over she grabbed the back of his helmet and slammed his head into that same knee.

“Touch me like that again and I will cut off your hands.” She growled. Cardo groaned as he rolled on the floor and Ap‘lek folded his lanky fingers carefully as he bent down to gaze at Cardo.

“Why must you torment yourself like this, my friend?” He mused. “All she’s ever brought you is pain.”

“It’s the pain that let me know she cares.” Cardo managed to cough out. Vydia let out another growl and when she lunged forward to hurt him again, Trudgen stepped in front of her and used his massive body to shield Cardo.

 _“Enough,”_ he said lowly. “Stop being childish.”

“Easy for you to you to say,” she snapped. “It’s not like he hits on you.”

“And I do count my blessings for that.” Trudgen chuckled.

“Fuck you.” Cardo grumbled and he stumbled to his feet. He cupped his crotch tenderly and winced as he stood up.

Vydia let out an audible huff as she turned away from Trudgen and folded her arms over her chest irritably, but as soon as she felt that chill down her spine, she dropped her arms to her sides and stiffened.

The rest of the Knights followed suit and waited attentively for directions when Kylo Ren appeared at the entrance of the hangar. Vydia felt her heart rate jump up with every thud his heavy boots made on the glossy black floor.

Her daze broke when she heard his voice.

“Vydia will accompany me on my ship,” he said. “The rest of you will take the Buzzard.”

And with a flourish of his cape he stomped towards his ship. Vydia and Kuruk’s heads turned instantly as they exchanged surprised expressions that never left the confines of their masks.

Vydia wanted to make her feet slow down as she followed behind Kylo Ren, but his long stride made it difficult and she couldn’t let her emotions get the best of her. The last thing she needed was the rest of the Knights discovering her complicated relationship with him.

The ship door shut behind her and she swallowed hard.

She joined him in the cockpit and they didn’t speak or even acknowledge each other until they were surrounded by the inky darkness of space.

“I did mean it.” He said.

_What?!_

“Mean what?” She managed to keep her cool, but she had no idea how.

“When I said it was a mistake—”

_Oh, great. So that worked wonderfully, thanks Kuruk._

“—but, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you.” He turned around to face her and his large hands rested on either side of her mask as he slipped it off slowly. She hoped that her face didn’t give anything away, but she had found that her talent for hiding her emotions on her face had faded since she had begun wearing a mask.

“I’m not an object,” she said icily. “You can’t just dress me up, play with me, and then toss me aside when I don’t suit your mood.”

“Maybe not, but I want you nonetheless.”

A gloved hand reached out and it looked like he was going to touch her face, but instead he pulled back and glowered under his mask.

“I remember the first day I met you,” he said and there was bitterness in his tone. “I regret not realizing it sooner. The way he looked at you, the way he touched you. . . But I was young and naive back then.”

 _He_. Ren.

Vydia remembered that day vividly, but definitely not for the same reasons Kylo Ren did. That particular day had started like normal, a bit of steamy morning sex with Ren and a not so casual conversation afterwards.

“You know I love you, right?” Ren said as he pressed a kiss to Vydia’s palm. She narrowed her eyes at him.

“What do you want?” She said pulling her hand away from him quickly. Ren laughed and he shifted to sit up and he pulled her into his lap without hesitation. He brushed her hair off her shoulder as he peppered her skin with soft lingering kisses.

“Who says I can’t express my affection for you without wanting something?” He smirked against her skin and she grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head back. Ren groaned and his fingers bit into her backside playfully.

“You’re full of shit, Ren.” Vydia glared back at him.

“Mmm, but you love me anyways.” He purred and Vydia gasped when he drew his hand back and slapped her ass hard. She gritted her teeth and shoved him back onto his mattress. With a little help from the Force, she pushed his arms apart and pinned them down above his head. She hovered above him with a sly look on her face. Her soft chest hovered over his, just barely brushing his rough scarred skin.

“I love how you make me come,” she said as she leaned in and pressed a kiss below his ear. “Now, tell me what you want.”

 _“Ouch!_ Why do you hurt me like that?” He poked out his bottom lip.

“Because you like it,” she ran her index finger down his lips and smirked. “But, if you’re not going to use your mouth to tell me what I want to hear, I’ll make it do something far more productive.”

She could practically see him start to salivate.

“Gods, Vydia,” he groaned. “I’m not saying anything now.”

 _“Ren!”_ She hit his chest as she sat up, completely breaking the act.

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you,” he said with a grin. “So there’s this casino. The man who owns it is very, very, wealthy and happens to have a number of ancient Jedi relics. Unfortunately, he’s smart and would never ever let anyone like me anywhere near his loot. . . But he happens to have a soft spot for beautiful women. . .”

“No, no fucking way,” Vydia released him from her grip and he sat up quickly and grabbed her hips before she slipped off the bed. “Hey! Get your hands off me!”

Ren pulled her below him and she huffed in annoyance.

“Vydia, you don’t have much of a choice,” he said. “Snoke wants those relics and we have to get them.”

“And why can’t we just kill everyone?”

“It’s not that kind of mission, baby.” Ren said and he pressed a soft kiss to her pouty lips. She bit his bottom lip defiantly and he growled against her mouth. He moved his kisses down her body and settled in between her legs, but before he did anything he looked up at her and smiled.

“If you do this for me, I promise you, I will repay you in ways that would make even a whore blush.” He brushed his lips against her inner thigh as he looked up at her through his lashes.

“Is sex your only bargaining chip? Because I’m not so sure that’s going to cut it this time.” Vydia huffed, but she couldn’t help the curl in her toes when Ren flashed that devilish smile of his.

“How about really, _really_ , good sex?”

Vydia rolled her eyes. “Shut up and fuck me.”

Ren complied more than eagerly and when they were done, he climbed out of bed and padded to his makeshift closet. The door rattled open loudly and he reached in and pulled out a decent sized black box. He set it on the bed next to Vydia and looked at her expectantly.

She arched an eyebrow as she opened it and pulled out a beautiful sheer beaded gown. The bust was solid enough where it counted, but the skirt was completely see-through. Her eyes widened as she gazed at the dress and then she gaped at Ren.

“How and when the fuck did you have this made?!”

“So you like it?” He smirked at her.

“I mean,” she cleared her throat. “It’s gorgeous, but uh, I’m not exactly a dress wearing kind of gal.”

“No, I suppose not,” he shrugged. “But, you will look fantastic in it either way. Try it on.”

Vydia sighed and she grabbed the dress and slid out of his bed. Before she made it to the bathroom, Ren grabbed her arms and pulled her in close.

“All jokes aside,” he pressed his forehead to hers. “I know this isn’t exactly in your comfort zone and even if you don’t have much of a choice, I do appreciate that you’re doing this.”

Vydia chuckled. “Yeah, uh, I may not be comfortable sporting an outfit like this, but scamming men isn’t exactly foreign to me.”

“Oh?” Ren was genuinely surprised and maybe a little jealous. It was foolish of him to think he was the only man she had ever shown interest in, but he wasn’t too keen on the idea, even if her interest had been only for her benefit.

“I was on the run for two years, baby,” she pecked his cheek. “I learned to be resourceful.”

“Well, aren’t you just full of surprises?”

“I like to keep you on your toes.” Vydia smirked at him and then she padded into his bathroom to change.

When she stepped out of the restroom, she turned around and Ren buttoned the choker-like neckline that held up the front of the dress. His fingertips lingered across her bare back and she let down her hair. It tumbled down her back like a black wave and Ren gently ran his fingers through it, before he spun her around and smiled at her.

“You look exquisite.” He breathed as he cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips down to hers. He kissed her tenderly and she smiled against his mouth.

“I better,” she said as she pulled back. “This looks and feels, expensive.”

Ren chuckled and he tucked her hair behind her ear while he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t really talking about the dress, baby. If we’re being perfectly honest, I think it’d look better on the floor.”

“Oh, I’m sure this will end up on the floor sooner rather than later,” Vydia smirked at him and she slipped out of his grip and sat on the edge of his bed to put on the pair of delicate crystalline heels that came with the gown. “But for now, I have a date.”

“A _mission._ ” Ren wrinkled his nose.

“Ren, is that a bit of jealousy I spy?” She teased.

“Without a doubt,” he pulled on his pants and buckled his belt. “If anyone should take you out, it should be me.”

Vydia sighed. “You know how I feel about this.”

“Yes, I do,” Ren replied bitterly. “Vydia—”

“No, Ren!” She huffed in annoyance. “I will not be judged for being in a relationship with you!”

“The boys won’t care!” Ren protested.

“Will Snoke?”

Ren scoffed and he threw his hands up and then brought them down to rake back his pale hair, which probably could’ve used a trim, but if he trimmed it, she wouldn’t be able to braid it anymore.

“We could always leave.” Ren said as he brought his arms back to his sides. Vydia looked at him with wide eyes.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Ren said. “We could leave the Knights.”

“You’d leave all of this,” she gestured to the room around her. “For me?”

“In a heartbeat,” Ren replied without hesitation. “Think about it for me?”

“Okay.” Vydia said in a small voice.

 _“—you were a vision in that dress. . .”_ Kylo Ren exhaled sharply and Vydia snapped back into the present abruptly. “If they had told me you were the Queen of the Darkside, I would’ve believed them.”

Kylo Ren reached out with a gloved hand and almost touched her face, but she pulled back with a soft scoff.

“You can’t just act like you didn’t say fucking me was a mistake.” She glared angrily at him, but in truth, Vydia wasn’t as insulted as she made it seem. The fact that he brought it up, was proof enough that he hadn’t stopped thinking about what had happened.

“It was a mistake.” Kylo Ren said.

“But it’s a mistake I’m willing to make over and over again.” He said as he took another step towards her. With every step he took towards her, she took a step back, until her back hit the wall.

He grasped at his mask and it hissed as he removed it. He looked down at her and Vydia felt her heart skip a beat. She swallowed hard, but kept her face free from emotion.

“What if I don’t want you to?” She asked.

The air chilled around her as she felt his unyielding hold on her. It pinned her up against the wall, leaving her frozen in place and a look of panic fell over her face and her chest lurched as she braced herself for the worst. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers and a gloved hand grasped the side of her head, pushing her hair back slowly.

“I could take whatever I want from you,” he said lowly. “I could even have you unconscious, but I won’t. I’d prefer you conscious and willing.”

“You weren’t so keen on my willingness last night.” Vydia said through gritted teeth. Kylo Ren drew back and his grip on her loosened. Vydia exhaled softly and Kylo Ren took a step away from you.

“A moment of overzealousness,” he said. “I do apologize for that.”

There was not much that surprised Vydia anymore, but that definitely caught her off guard and she blinked a few times.

“What’s brought this on?” She demanded.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are we talking about this?” Vydia snapped. “If it was a mistake, why bring it up? Why apologize to me?”

“Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough,” Kylo Ren cocked his head to the side. “I want to fuck you.”

Vydia said nothing as she glared angrily at him. She pursed her lips together and spat in his face defiantly. 

If he thought a piss-poor excuse of an apology and some vaguely sentimental words were going to be enough to get back into her pants, he was sadly mistaken. 

Kylo Ren jerked back with a snarl.

_“Why you—!”_

He raised his hand quickly and she felt a pressure around her throat. The Force around her body dissipated and she gasped at her neck as she gasped for air.

“Harder.” She managed to choke out.

Kylo Ren let out a low growl and the Force was swiftly replaced with a large gloved hand as he pulled her forward and pressed his mouth to hers. She couldn’t help it when she moaned against his lips, but when the radio crackled to life, she shoved him back with a gasp.

“This isn’t over.” Kylo Ren said as he shoved his finger in her face.

He spun around to answer the call and Vydia exhaled sharply as she sunk down in an empty seat.


	9. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: slight rapey vibes from a shitty dude, but he gets killed sooooo

As they continued their flight, they didn’t speak. Vydia rested her head on her palm and stifled a yawn. The last thing she remember thinking was, maybe I’ll rest my eyes for just a second, before the dreamscape rippled to life. 

Her heels clicked noisily down the hall as she made her way toward the hangar. She fidgeted with her gown and groaned in annoyance. 

“I feel naked.” She muttered irritably. 

“Well, the fact that your dress is basically see-through may have something to do with that.” Ren smarted. 

_“Ha. Ha,”_ she narrowed her eyes at him. “Allow me to clarify, I feel naked without my weapons.” 

“You wouldn’t even be able make it onto the planet if you were armed with that.” He chuckled, referring to her formidable sword. Vydia’s frown deepened, but she stayed silent. 

The doors opened and the rest of the Knights were waiting for them. They were scattered around the hangar lounging on the boxes and boxes of ammo and extra parts and the second Vydia and Ren walked in, the blank stare of everyone’s masks was fixed on them. 

Cardo let out a sharp wolf whistle and Vydia rolled her eyes. 

“Get it all out, boys,” she scoffed. “Because this will be the last time you ever see me dressed like this.” 

“You look magnificent, young Vydia.” Ap’lek extended his lanky arm and she took his hand with a soft smile. He spun her around gently and when she let go of him, she felt a stinging smack on the back of her ass. 

“Who knew you actually had a body _body_ under all those clothes.” Cardo laughed obnoxiously as he made the hourglass shape with his hands. 

Vydia snarled as Ren’s lightsaber launched itself off his belt and zipped into her hand. She started towards Cardo with a deadly purpose, but the cocky bastard made no attempt to move. 

“You’re going to regret that, Cardo.” She growled, but before she could make it to him, Ren stepped in front of her, snuck and arm around her waist and spun her into his chest. His bare chest pressed into her bare back and she fought the urge to melt against him. His free hand steadied the lightsaber and she tried to jerk her hand out of his with a frustrated growl. 

_“Enough,”_ he said lowly. “Drop it, Vydia.”

She complied with gritted teeth and she stumbled forward as he let her go. Cardo, who hadn’t moved an inch from his comfy seat on the ammo, was flung backwards and hit the side of one of their spare ships with a loud bang. Vydia and the rest of the Knights looked around in surprise for the culprit and soon her gaze fell on Ben, who was leaning casually against the side of the ship she assumed she was going to take. 

A nonchalant expression adorned his face and the rest of the Knights, including Ren, began to laugh. Trudgen guffawed as he slapped Ben on the back and knocked Ben a step forward. 

“Defending the damsel, while pleasant for most, will not give you extra brownie points with this damsel, buddy.” Trudgen clutched his chest as his shoulders bounced with laughter. 

“I wasn’t—” 

“Alright, enough guys,” Ren said with a grin. “You two, get going.” 

Ren gestured to Vydia and Ben. 

_“What?”_ Vydia demanded. 

“You didn’t think I was sending you out alone, did you?” Ren smirked at her. Vydia glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest, which only made Ren’s gaze slip. 

“You’re kidding,” she snapped. “He’s never been on a mission before!” 

“Yes,” Ren said. “Which means the man we’re trying to rob won’t recognize him. His only job will be to protect you.” 

“I can protect myself.” Vydia growled. Ren sighed and he boldly grabbed her upper arm and pulled her in close. She felt her face heat up with blush and she prayed that no one noticed. 

“Give the kid a chance, baby, and just think, after this is over I will worship you like the goddess you are in that fucking dress,” he whispered in her ear. A shiver shot down the length of her spine and she bit the inside of her lip hard. 

“You’re pushing it.” She said, loud enough that the others could hear and she hoped her aggravated tone threw them off. 

“Go.” He put his hand on the small of her back and gently pushed her towards the ship. She sighed audibly and glanced at Ben, who at the time, she barely knew.

“Let’s go, new kid.” She said as she walked past him. He avoided her gaze and followed her into the ship. 

She took her place in the pilots seat and Ben sat down beside her. As she started the ship, she looked at Ben out of the corner of her eye. 

“If you fuck this up, I will kill you myself.” She said. Ben looked startled for a moment, but stayed silent. 

He was silent for most of the flight, but she supposed his curiosity was eating away at him and he cleared his throat before he spoke. 

“What did Ren say to you before we left?” He asked. 

Vydia didn’t look at him when she replied and her hands were kept busy by the controls of the ship. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. Now, switch spots with me.” 

“What?” Ben sputtered. 

“You can fly, right?” She scoffed. “I can’t show up flying. Not like this. It’ll give us away.” 

Ben stood up abruptly and they shuffled past each other in the small space. Her chest brushed up against his and she could’ve sworn she saw a hint of blush tint his pale cheeks. 

“When we land, do not speak to anyone,” Vydia said. “You will act as my bodyguard and that’s it. Only step in if I tell you to.” 

Ben nodded his head and began their descent into the atmosphere. 

Before they left the ship, Vydia handed him a small earpiece that was nearly invisible to the naked eyes. She slipped hers in as well and they made their way to the casino. They passed through security without a second glance and Vydia flashed a seductive smile to the guards as she walked into the building. 

The casino was bustling and well lit with bright white lights and upbeat music was playing from a live band somewhere. It was easy to get overwhelmed with the clamorous environment, but Vydia had spent her fair share of time in places like this, of course, none of those places were nearly as lavish as this one. 

Vydia wasted no time as she spotted the bar and made a beeline for it. Ben stayed right at her heels and she sighed as she stopped abruptly. She stopped so fast he almost ran into her. She put her hand on his chest and backed him up a step or two with an annoyed huff. 

“I’m gonna get a drink,” she said. “Watch from a distance. Keep an eye out for Taran.” 

She turned around and when she made it to the bar she ordered the strongest drink they had. She silently wished she was at the casino under better circumstances, because the beautiful people and the crowded dance floor seemed awfully tempting. 

She sipped her drink delicately and her eyes scanned the bright faces of the guests around her quickly. 

“Looking for someone?” A voice said from behind her. 

She turned slowly and offered a pleasant smile before she even realized the man who had just taken the seat beside her was just the man she wanted to see. Evric Taran. 

She hated to admit it, but his beauty nearly rivaled Ren’s. He was dressed in a smart black suit and his dark brown hair was stylishly messy atop his head. His grey eyes gleamed as he eyed her shamelessly. 

“Just people watching.” She replied casually. 

“Ahh,” Evric said. “And the young man in black over there?” 

_Pretty and observant. Hmm._

“My pilot and bodyguard, if the occasion calls for it,” she said with a shrug. “You’d be surprised how many. . . _Difficult,_ situations I’ve found myself in. He’s extremely helpful with those.” 

“I’m not that surprised,” Evric chuckled. “Men tend to act foolish in the presence of beautiful women.” 

“You think I’m beautiful?” Vydia tilted her head and offered a small smile. 

“I do,” he laughed. “And I hate to break it to you, but about every other man in this building does as well.”

“Flattery will get you no where, baby.” She said with a smirk and Evric smiled widely as he turned to face her even more. 

“I’m Evric.” He held out his hand and the rings on his fingers shined brightly in the white lights. Vydia shook his hand. 

“I’m Thalia.” She replied. Her name wasn’t often recognized, but with the bounty that still lingered over her head for the murder of her family, it was best not to risk using it. 

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Thalia.” He placed a light kiss to the back of her hand and never broke their eye-contact. 

It didn’t take long for Evric to invite her up to his room for more drinks and some privacy, which was exactly what Vydia wanted. Evric had a large safe (large enough to be a second room, according to the schematics she was shown beforehand) that was connected to his vast open concept living quarters. 

Before she snuck off with Evric, she stopped to quickly direct Ben, who seemed awfully worried that she was going to be alone with Evric. 

“If I need your help I’ll call you,” she assured him quietly with a false smile on her lips to fool Evric who was standing a good ten or fifteen feet away. “Stay here. . . And have a drink for fucks sake, you need to lighten up.” 

Ben’s brows shot up in surprise, but before he could protest, Vydia was a splash of glittering gold melting into the pool of darkly dressed casino guests. 

When the elegant glass doors of the elevator closed, Vydia grabbed Evric by the lapels of his sharp suit and pressed her lips to his. Even though she was attracted to him, she still found it difficult to enjoy the kiss for some reason. He was a decent kisser, well, okay, he was an excellent kisser, but her mind still couldn’t get past the fact that. . . It wasn’t Ren. 

_Ha. Shit._

If Evric felt her slight apprehension, he made no attempt to stop the kiss, but Vydia just prayed that he didn’t notice it.

When the elevator opened Vydia followed Evric to his private quarters that were separate from the casino. 

Before Vydia made herself comfortable on the lavish white sofa, she surveyed the room quickly. It was simple, but still just as luxurious as the rest of the building. A crystal clear bar was nestled in the corner of the room while a lavish white couch faced a large fireplace that housed restless blue flames. Above the mantel of the fireplace sat a weathered battle-ax, which didn’t seem to fit the rest of the modern and simplistic design, but it definitely made a statement. 

While Evric poured them some more drinks, which she no intention of indulging herself in, she crossed her legs gracefully as her eyes continued to asses the room. Drinks out in the open made by a professional were one thing, but drinks in private? That could lead to unfortunate situations. 

Evric sat beside her and offered her a glass with a smirk. 

“Tell me about yourself, Thalia.” He said as he took a sip of his drink. 

“I’m afraid I’m not that interesting.” She replied and a bright smile tugged at the comer of her painted lips. 

“I find that hard to believe,” Evric said. “Especially because you bare a remarkable resemblance to this young woman I remember seeing in the bounty lists.” 

Vydia shrugged. “We all have a past. At least I outgrew mine.” 

“Now what is that supposed to mean?” Evric grinned. 

“Aren’t you an infamous smuggler, Evric Taran?” She smirked at him and he scoffed lightly. 

“Pretty _and_ smart,” he chuckled. “Touché, Thalia, if that’s even your real name.” 

“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t, but it’s something you can scream nonetheless.” Vydia shrugged again and she set her glass on the small table that sat beside the couch. 

“Oh?” Evric raised his eyebrows. 

“Mmm-hmm.” She scooted closer to him and he pulled her into his lap. One of his hands set his glass on the dark solid frame of the couch while the other slid up her bare thigh, that was exposed due to the large slit in the side of her gown. 

“I’m conflicted, darling,” he murmured. “I’m not so sure I trust you. You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve seen in a long time and here you are, with me, so willing. . . It’s almost too good to be true.” 

“I think you think too much.” She said and her hand was almost close enough to his drink, almost close enough to administer the tranquilizer into his drink from a small compartment in her ring, but he grabbed her hands and placed them on his chest. 

“I think I know what would put my mind at ease. . .” He ran her hands down his chest and stomach and they stopped at the apex of his thighs. He was painfully hard under the thin material of his dress pants and Vydia suppressed the urge to vomit. The insinuation was clear, but Vydia definitely wasn’t onboard with idea. 

“Why the rush? We have all night.” She smiled. 

“Actually I don’t,” his tone darkened. “You shouldn’t have come up here if you were going to be difficult. What else did you think was going to happen?” 

“Difficult?” Vydia frowned slightly. “I only meant—Hey!” 

Evric stood up and she was dumped onto the smooth white tile in front of him. A hand gripped her hair hard and she felt the dull prick of a blade at her throat. 

“Look, I’m a very busy man and I’d prefer all of this not be a waste of my time,” he said lowly. “And perhaps, I may still return the favor. So, Thalia. Be a smart girl.” 

Vydia gritted her teeth and she slowly reached up and began to unbuckle his belt. Evric smiled sadistically and he slipped his knife back up into his sleeve as she tugged his pants down. He sprung free from his underwear and Vydia sat up on her knees as she grasped him gently. 

Before Evric could even react, she thrust him back with an open palm. He cried out as he slammed up against the closest wall. He struggled against her invisible grip, but his actions held no avail and he gaped at her with wide eyes. 

“How—!?”

“Come on, Evric,” Vydia purred. “You’re a _smart_ man.” 

She walked toward him slowly and soon their faces were inches apart. She tilted her head playfully as she watched the gears turn in his head. The fearful expression on Evric’s face soon subsided and was replaced by one of complacency. 

“You’re a Knight.” 

Vydia smirked at him. 

“Bingo,” she raised her hand and the giant battle axe above the mantel launched off the wall into her palm. “I’ll send Ren your regards.” 

“Wait! Wait—!” With one swing his torso slid off his legs and he broke off into a fit of wet gurgles as the two pieces of his body hit the floor with a heavy thud. 

Vydia swung the axe one more time and it made a loud clanging noise when it buried itself in the stone flooring. More blood spurted up and splattered across her chest and face and she groaned internally. Well this dress is ruined. . . 

She reached down and picked up Evric’s freshly severed hand and walked towards the bookcase that was placed beside the bar. 

“Ben,” she said. “Get your ass up here.”

“I—okay. On my way.” Her ear piece buzzed. 

Vydia pressed Evric’s severed hand to the DNA scanning pad that was hidden under a discrete painting and the bookcase whirred to life as it slid back and to the side to reveal a hidden room behind it. 

The room was filled to the brim with ancient weapons and artifacts that were probably worth millions. Vydia could’ve spent hours in that room gaping at the priceless items that lined the many, many, shelves, but she had a job to do. 

Ben appeared beside her breathless and if she were being honest, a little green. He glanced over his shoulder one too many times. 

“You killed him!” He gasped softly and his eyes widened as they finally fixed on the severed hand she was holding casually. 

“Obviously?” She smarted. “Hold this. Give me the bag.” 

She shoved the severed hand into his and he fumbled with it as she yanked the bag out of his grip. The hand fell to the floor with a wet thud and Ben quickly backed up and coughed a little. 

Vydia rolled her eyes and she shoved the Jedi artifacts into the bag. She handed them back to Ben and snagged a nice blaster before she pushed him out of the secret room. 

“We weren’t supposed to kill anyone.” Ben said as he avoided looking at the messy carnage Vydia had left in front of the couch. 

“Yeah, well, shit happens.” She replied with a scoff. 

She walked over towards the mangled body and pulled the axe out of the floor. Evric’s head was cleanly severed from his torso with one clean stroke and Vydia yanked it off the floor by its hair. It dangling from her hand like a purse and swayed with every step she took. Blood dribbled onto the floor and left a small trail in her wake. 

“Where are you going with that?!” Ben said in a hushed tone. 

“I’m gonna look for a bag,” she scoffed. “Carrying a severed head around out in the open like a handbag is frowned upon.”

Ben just gaped at her. 

In what she assumed to be Evric’s bedroom, she found a nice tan bag that was made out of a leather she didn’t recognize. It looked expensive and she nearly felt bad that she was going to defile it with a severed human head, but it was the only bag that was small enough not to draw suspicion. 

She sighed as she shoved Evric’s head into the bag and she zipped it up quickly. She made her way back out to the main floor and began to walk towards the exit, but Ben quickly grabbed her arm and stopped her. 

“You’re covered in blood.” 

“And?” She glared daggers at him, but he stood his ground. 

“That tends to draw attention,” he scoffed. “And I don’t think we’re equipped to take out all of the security, especially if you plan on toting that around.” 

He was right, but she wasn’t about to admit that to him.

“Alright,” she slipped out of his grip. “How do you propose we leave then?” 

Ben nodded his head to the large window. “We’ll jump and make it out completely undetected.” 

“And how are we not going to plummet to our deaths?” She arched a single eyebrow. The finder of Ben’s mouth curled up into a slight smile and he pointed to the intense looking grappling gun that was sitting on a shelf at the edge of the hidden room. 

“That looks promising.” He said. Vydia grinned. 

“Indeed it does, new kid,” she said. “Fuck it. Let’s do it.” 

With the grappling gun in hand, Ben and Vydia stood in front of the massive window and Ben tapped the glass with a knuckle. 

“This has to be a least an inch thick,” he said. “How—?”

He dropped to the floor as the battle axe came barreling towards the window like it had a mind of its own. It hit the window with a deafening crack and got lodged into the glass. A second later, a screeching alarm began to sound and Vydia flinched. 

“Shit!” She shouted. 

She drew the axe back with her mind and quickly slammed it back into the window. The glass shattered and came raining down like tiny daggers. Ben quickly pulled Vydia into his chest and used his body to shield hers, before the glass shredded her skin. A loud boom came from the direction of the front door and Vydia gritted her teeth in annoyance. 

“We’ve got company! Time to go!” She wrapped her arms around Ben and he fired the gun. The hook latched onto a nearby rooftop and he swung a large arm around her waist before he jumped off the ledge. 

The cool air whistled past them as they zipped through the air and when they were close enough to land on another rooftop below them, he let go and they tumbled to the ground. Ben landed with a pained grunt and Vydia winced as she untangled herself from him. Ben sat up and rubbed the back of his head with a grimace. 

Vydia gasped. 

“Get down!” She shoved him down and quickly and in the process unfortunately ended up shoving her entire chest into his face, which wouldn’t have been that much of an issue normally, except for the fact she was wearing a very low cut dress. 

But her mind was focused on the massive explosion that was only meters away from them. She jerked up and scrambled to her feet. She yanked Ben off the ground and he looked only slightly mortified as she dragged him to the stairwell. 

“I–I, uh—!” Ben’s mouth fumbled to find the right words and Vydia scoffed loudly. 

“Shut up and run!” 

They sprinted through the building and at some point Vydia had kicked off her heels and left them behind. The cold cement stung her feet as she rang but she shoved the pain down and kept going. 

Soon they made it to their ship and the guards ran towards them, weapons raised. Vydia didn’t even hesitate to throw them to the side with a wave of her hand. They were flung back a good thirty feet and they hit the gravel with a heavy thud and a groan. 

Vydia and Ben scrambled into the ship and she jumped into the pilot seat and quickly started the engines. 

“Sit down!” She used the Force and shoved Ben into a seat and the second the ship left the ground, she launched into light speed. Ben yelled at her with an outstretched hand, probably to stop her, but he was thrown back into his seat and the world around them disappeared. 


	10. BONUS!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter has nothing to do with the current storyline, I just really wanted to write about Ren and Vydia's first time, so it's literally just Ren and Vydia being cute and horny bitches. Also this fic will continue, I'm just in school full time and working full time so it'll be pretty slow to update. sorry.

It had been about two weeks since Vydia and Ren’s first kiss and since then they were insatiable. Well, as insatiable as they could be since they could only find themselves alone together in fleeting moments. She enjoyed their rushed kisses and eager hands, unfortunately she wanted more. 

Her childhood (if she could even call it that) didn’t allow for any relationships, especially romantic ones. Now she was nineteen, sneaking around sharing hurried kisses with a man much older (is seven years much older?) and much more experienced than she was at. . . _Everything!_ She was tired of it, but every time she tried to move forward with things, he would push her away and tell her things like: 

_“Hey, we’ve got time, okay? Let’s not rush things.”_

Or, 

_“I want your first time to be something special. . .”_

Or even, 

_“Baby, there isn’t enough time. . .”_

Vydia was so over it and decided that the second she got Ren alone _alone,_ she was going to confront him about it. 

That particular night, they were celebrating a rather gruesome conquest at one of their favorite cantinas. Vydia purposely kept her distance from Ren and course corrected every time he tried to come near her. She noticed the slight hurt expression on his face when he had tried to corner her at a table and she darted off to the bar. 

“Is there a reason you’re avoiding Ren?” Kuruk said into his glass with a slight smirk as Vydia plopped down on the seat beside him. Her heart jumped in alarm, but she kept her cool. Kuruk (or anyone for that matter) had no reason to suspect there was something between her and Ren. They were smart about it. 

“I’d rather not waste my victory with my mentor who is going to critique every little thing.” Vydia said under her breath. 

“Ren’s not like that.” Kuruk scoffed. 

That was true. Ren was a very patient mentor. He was kind and almost nonchalant about everything. She had never really seen him get upset about anything when it came to her training. That being said, she also listened to him like he shit diamonds and pissed gold. 

“It’s happened before.” Vydia lied. 

“Fair enough,” Kuruk shrugged. “The man has gone a bit stale in the bedroom department, perhaps he’s taking that out on you.”

Vydia choked on her drink. “The _what?!”_

“I’ll explain it to you when you’re older.” He patted her on the shoulder and then walked away. Vydia rolled her eyes hard and then set her head on the bar with a groan. 

A minute or two later, she heard Ren talking to Trudgen who was trying to seduce his second partner for that evening. 

“I’m gonna take a piss,” he said. “Keep and eye on that old fuck by the bar. He’s had his on V for too long.” 

“He’ll he dead if he lays so much as a finger on her, but not because of any of us, Ren,” Trudgen chuckled. “Girls’ got a mean streak a mile wide.” 

Ren bit back a smile. “Sure does.” 

Ren made his way to the exit and about three minutes later, Vydia snuck out the back. She caught him just as he was buttoning up his pants and she quickly shoved him into the tree-line and pushed him up against a massive trunk. 

She kissed him hard and he eagerly returned the kiss without hesitation. He wound his fingers up in her hair and when he went to deepen the kiss she pulled back. He smiled down at her and laughed softly. 

“I thought you were mad at me.” He went to kiss her again and she pulled back again, just out of his reach. He frowned. 

“Okay, maybe I was right,” he huffed. “Are you going to talk to me or are you going to keep sending me mixed signals?” 

“Why won’t you have sex with me?” Vydia said bluntly. 

“V–I, oh my gods,” he sighed. “That’s what this is about?” 

“I want to have sex with you. Do you not want to have sex with me?” She asked. “Is there something wrong? Have I done—?” 

Ren grabbed her face quickly and shut her up with a kiss that made her toes curl and her world spin. When he finally broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers as they both gasped for air. 

“Vydia, I have wanted to fuck you since you threatened to cut my throat with a broken glass,” he said breathlessly. “And don’t you for one second think that there is anything wrong with you. There isn’t.” 

That was slightly surprising to hear. Ren had been nothing, but professional towards her when she first joined the group. Sure, they would share in an occasional joke or conversation about their dark pasts, but beyond that she would never have guessed he wanted her. 

Only recently, had she noticed his lingering glances, soft touches that lasted a second too long, and on the rare occasion, when they were out fighting, he’d swoop in out of nowhere and protect her from an attack, when he knew damn well she could handle it herself without his help. 

“Then why do you keep making excuses?” Vydia sighed in annoyance. Ren sighed too and he let his hands slide off her face onto her upper-arms. 

“Look, I’ve never been somebody’s first before,” he said in a hushed tone. “I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want you to feel unsatisfied, I don’t want it to be rushed in any way, I just. . . I want it to mean something and I’ve never wanted that before. Not for anyone.” 

“Oh. . .” Vydia whispered. 

“Yeah. . .” Ren chuckled. “But look, I’m over it. I’m going to stop overthinking this and tonight, I’m going to fuck you so good that you won’t be able to walk in the morning.” 

“Oh? I like the sound of that.” Vydia smirked and then let out a short squeak when he picked her up and pressed his lips to hers. He turned them around and pinned her up against the tree, but before things could get too far, he pulled back. 

“Here, take this,” he handed her a shiny black key card with red bold lettering on it. “Go to this address and I’ll meet you there in five. I’m going to tell the boys I’m walking you back to the ship. Chances are, none of them will come home tonight so we’ll be safe.” 

“This is for a brothel.” Vydia said with raised eyebrows. 

“Yeah, uh, yeah it is,” Ren said. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s the only place that’s close enough where we can get a room. I’m not exactly welcome at most normal places around here.” 

“And why’s that?” Vydia’s eyebrows crept even higher. 

“You know, I don’t feel comfortable talking about my past sexual escapades with the woman I actually care about and am going to have sex with tonight.” He replied. 

“You aren’t welcome at most motels because of your _sexual escapades?”_ Vydia narrowed her eyes. Now, she was definitely wondering what kind of night she was in for. 

“Do you want to have sex with me or not?” 

“Well now, I’m debating—” he cut her off with another kiss and she moaned against his mouth as her palms slid across his solid chest and her arms settled around his neck. This time Vydia broke the kiss and she smirked at him. 

“Okay, yeah. I do,” she said. “I’ll see you soon.” 

She slipped out from between Ren and the tree and began making her way down the dimly lit path towards her speeder. The cantina was on the outskirts of the small city in a more rural side of the planet so her ride was a good twenty minutes. Not that she minded. The ride gave her time to anticipate the night she was going to share with Ren and a giddiness she had not felt since childhood began to seep into her bones. 

When she finally reached the brothel she parked her speeder and made her way inside the colorfully lit building. Inside the lighting was mostly red and the flooring was a glossy black. There was a single black desk in the center of the dimly lit room and when she entered Devaronian manning the desk looked up. 

“Masks are not permitted inside,” he said. “Nor are weapons.” 

Vydia tilted her head, but made no attempt to remove either.

“Do you have any idea who I am?” She asked lowly. 

“Very well, Vydia Thyssen,” the Devaronian purred. “But I’m afraid exceptions cannot be made, even for the most fearsome of the galaxy.” 

“I can lose the mask, but the weapons stay.” Vydia replied. 

“This isn’t a negotiation, Miss Thyssen,” the Devaronian cocked his head. “Surely, your comrades have told you this.” 

Vydia gritted her teeth and her hands balled at her sides. She was just about to launch that smug bastard out of his chair, but a gentle hand rested on her shoulder and she relaxed slightly. 

“Evening, Klaedo,” Ren said with a bright smile. “I would apologize for V, but I think she’d probably kill me if I did.” 

Ren’s hands settled on the sides of her helmet and pulled it off her head slowly. Her black hair tumbled down her shoulders and he set her helmet on the shiny black countertop. She looked up at him with a furrowed brow, but he kept his gaze on the Devaronian. 

“I’d like to use your finest room.” Ren said and his hands slid down her shoulders and landed on the handles of her daggers, which were nestled up in her armor just above her waistline. He pulled them, but before he could remove them, her hands grabbed his wrists quickly.

 _“Vydia,”_ he said in a low tone just above her ear. “You’ll get them back later. Let go.” 

Vydia huffed in annoyance, but released him and let him tug her daggers free and set them on the counter. The next to go was her sword. After that, he turned her around and held her hands up. He pressed a kiss to her palm and she looked at him with wide eyes and then shot a look to the Devaronian behind them. 

“And your discretion about tonight will be appreciated,” Ren said, but his eyes never left Vydia’s. “It would be _bad_ for business if anyone were to find out about this.” 

Ren broke their intense eye contact and sent a look towards Klaedo that would make even the toughest man shit their pants. 

“Of course, Master Ren,” there was a slight quake in Klaedo’s voice now. “And who would you like to accompany you in your room tonight?” 

Ren slipped the two small throwing knives out of Vydia’s sleeves and set those on the counter as well. 

“No one.” Ren replied and he picked Vydia up, much to her surprise, and set her on the counter too.

“Sir, in order to use a room, you have to use a girl,” Klaedo said. “This isn’t a motel.” 

_“What was that?”_ Ren asked darkly. 

“I, uh, never mind. . .” Klaedo said. “Your room will be ready shortly. In the meantime, I need all weapons removed.”

“On it.” Ren ran his hands down her thighs removed another set of daggers and then down her calves where he grabbed yet another set of daggers out of her boots. He dropped those onto the counter and then grabbed his lightsaber and added it to the pile. 

“Master Ren,” a soft voice said from the elevator. “Your room is ready, sir.” 

Ren helped Vydia off the counter, but before they could make their way towards the elevator, Klaedo cleared his throat.

 _“All_ weapons.” 

Ren looked down at Vydia quizzically and she sighed. She unhooked the front of her armor and then unzipped her skintight undershirt, exposing the plush curves of her breasts that threatened to spill out of her underwear. She had decided against binding her chest that day and was now very happy that she did, for the hungry look on Ren’s face, made her just about want to tackle him and fuck him right then and there in front of everyone. 

She reached into the side of her shirt and pulled out the small dagger that had belonged to her sister and set it on the counter. 

“Always like to keep that one close.” She said as she fixed her shirt and armor. She didn’t wait for Ren when she made her way to the elevator. 

The elevator doors closed, leaving Vydia and Ren in the awkward company of the hostess that would lead them to their room. Or at least to Vydia it was awkward. Ren didn’t seem to mind as he kept himself busy by standing behind her and pressing lingering kisses to her hair and temple. 

Vydia leaned back against him and shut her eyes. Her heart was beating so fast and hard she could feel it in her ears. 

“The girls have missed you, Master Ren.” The scantly dressed hostess said with a smile. 

Vydia’s eyes shot open, her body went rigid, and the air in the room dropped to an icy chill. Ren quickly slipped and arm around around her waist, just under her breasts, and held her fast, like that would do anything if she decided to attack the hostess. 

_“Easy, V.”_ Ren breathed into her ear, low enough so that only she could hear him. Vydia let out an irritated huff, but said nothing. 

“Jealousy is a shit color on you, Janea,” his tone was dark and his chest vibrated against Vydia’s back. “And this beautiful woman and I have done terrible things for much less than petty words, so I would watch your fucking step.” 

“I meant no disrespect, Master Ren.” Janea paled. 

“I believe an apology is in order.” 

“I’m sorry, Master—”

 _“Not to me.”_ Ren growled. 

“I’m sorry, Miss Thyssen.” Janea squeaked. 

Vydia looked Janea up and down and let out a short scoff. “An apology from a dead girl means nothing to me.” 

“W-what?” Janae swallowed hard and her gaze jumped to Ren, who let out a short bark of laughter. 

“She’s going to kill you, Janea.” 

The hostess blinked a few times like she wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not. She opened her mouth to say something, but the doors opened and Janea cleared her throat nervously. 

“Y-your room,” she stuttered. “Call if you need anything.” 

The elevator doors shut and it zipped away, leaving Ren and Vydia alone. Finally. 

Vydia’s foul mood vanished instantly the second she stepped into the room. It was definitely not what she was expecting. The huge room was dimly lit with a red glow and the most of the walls around them were all floor to ceiling windows, which showed off the view of the twinkling city far below them. A massive round bed with white silk sheets sat in the center of the room and a the sound of running water drew Vydia into what she assumed the washroom was. 

In the washroom was a steaming square bath that was big enough to pass as a small swimming pool. A mirror hung above the pool and at the end of the pool was another floor to ceiling window. On the backside of the pool, a staggered waterfall let water trickle into the pool peacefully. A small sink was positioned in the corner of the room. Above it was another smaller mirror and beside it was decent sized rack full of different soaps, scents, and oils. 

She jumped when a pair of hands settled onto her shoulders and Ren chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

“Relax, baby.” He purred. 

“Sorry, I guess I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be.” She said softly. Ren turned her around and tilted her chin up with a gloved hand as he leaned in and kissed her gently. 

“We’ll take it slow,” he said. “How about we start with a bath?” 

“That sounds wonderful.” Vydia let out a small sigh of relief. She was sure she smelled like sweat and blood, which wasn’t very sexy. Ren didn’t smell too pleasant either, if she were being honest. 

“I’m going to pour us some drinks,” he grabbed her hand and kissed her palm. “Choose what bath oils you would like to use.” 

“Okay.” Vydia breathed. 

Ren left the room and Vydia quickly removed her armor, clothes, and boots. She slipped on a white silk bathrobe that was so long that it nearly touched the floor and then she assessed the bottles of oils. 

She settled for a smooth smelling one with a hint of tangy sweet citrus and warm notes of something woodsy she couldn’t quite place. 

Ren appeared beside her and he handed her a delicate glass. He smiled at her as he tapped his glass against hers and they both took a sip. Vydia would’ve downed the whole thing to calm her nerves, if it hadn’t tasted like actual jet fuel. 

“Good gods, Ren,” she laughed through her coughs. “This is horrible!”

“Oh,” Ren’s smile faltered and suddenly he looked embarrassed as he scratched the back of his neck. “I, uh, sorry. . .” 

“It’s a good thing I’m not with you for your eccentric taste in alcohol.” She said and she set her glass down on the edge of the sink. She grabbed the collar of his cape and stood on her toes while she pulled him in for a hot kiss. Ren put a hand on her waist and he backed them up so he could set his glass down as well, but he missed the sink and it dropped onto the floor and shattered loudly. 

He pulled away from her lips and cursed under his breath as he looked down at the broken glass, but Vydia grabbed his face and pressed her lips back to his. Ren didn’t complain one bit, but he did lift her up and carry her and her bare feet away from the danger of the shards. 

He set her down and his rough hands ran down the smooth fabric of her robe. They settled on her ass and he gave it an appreciative squeeze, which made her chuckle against his mouth. Vydia’s hands however, busied themselves with the clasp on his cape. Once she got it off, it fluttered to the ground. 

Ren pulled away from her gently and he smiled at her. “Pour a couple drops of the oil into the pool, while I slip into something more comfortable, baby.” 

Vydia nodded her head and she carefully made her way around the glass and retrieved the bottle. She poured about three drops into the water and then took a second to gaze out the window, while Ren sat at the edge of the pool, removed his single glove, and unlaced his heavy boots. 

When his boots came off he stood up and tugged his pants off. Much to Vydia’s surprise, he kept his underwear on when he walked towards her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she smiled at him. 

“You can’t take a bath in your underwear.” She teased him. He chuckled, but his breath caught in his throat when her fingers slipped into his waistband and tugged them down. They got caught on his muscular thighs and he had to bend down slightly to remove them all the way. 

Vydia eyed him shamelessly and quickly came to the conclusion that the Gods didn’t make this man, pure sinful evil did. The pleasant surprise must’ve made its way to her face, because Ren smirked at her and then tilted his head to the side. 

“Like what you see?” He purred. 

_Oh absolutely._

“I suppose it’ll do.” She shrugged, but she also couldn’t help but smile at him. 

“Why you little—!” He picked her up bridal style and she gasped in surprise before she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck to keep herself from falling. He began to walk straight into the pool and she hit his chest in protest. 

“Ren! My robe!” She glared at him. 

“Believe me, it looks much better like this.” Ren grinned and Vydia scoffed loudly. 

She didn’t doubt it though. The water made the thin fabric almost see-through and it made it too heavy and it slipped off her shoulders. The only thing that held it up was the soft slope of her breasts and she felt it made her look like the covers of the exotic romance novels she had seen her father’s girlfriend read. The memory made her a little sick to her stomach, but she focused on Ren’s amorous gaze and the feeling of his hard body pressed against hers and the sickness turned back into the giddy nervous flutters of a first love. 

Ren let go of her legs and let her stand in front of him. His hands cupped the back of her head as he leaned in and pressed his lips to her softly. Vydia rested her hand on his forearm and ran her thumb across the black scaring on his skin. 

This kiss was far more gentle than any kiss she had ever shared with Ren and she wondered what brought it on. It was sweet and she wasn’t complaining, but she was slightly surprised at its tenderness.

Ren broke the kiss but his hands remained where they were as he smiled down at her. His thumbs stroked her cheeks, dampening her skin with the scented water. 

“You really are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” He breathed. There was something so genuine and soft about his tone, it almost scared her. She covered up her nerves with a witty comment of course. 

“I already agreed to sleep with you,” she chuckled. “So you don’t have to keep buttering me up.” 

“Ahh, but sweet words don’t work on you like that, so there isn’t really a reason to use them unless I simply just mean it.” Ren smirked at her and Vydia scoffed. 

“Are you going to keep running your mouth or are you going to undress me and help me bathe?” She cocked an eyebrow and Ren laughed. 

“Fuck me,” he said breathlessly. “You don’t have to ask me twice, baby.” 

And with that Ren’s hands slipped under the water and he untied her robe. He then slid it down her arms and without looking away from Vydia, wadded it up and tossed it out of the water. It hit the smooth bathroom tile with a wet smack. 

“Good gods,” he inhaled sharply. “You really are perfect, aren’t you?” 

“Hardly.” She scoffed and turned away from him to sink down in the water and wet her hair. Ren did the same and then walked to the side of the pool to grab a soft cloth. He returned to Vydia, who found herself gazing out the window again and he gently tilted her chin back towards him. He squeezed the excess water out of the cloth before he lightly rubbed the streaks of dirt and ash off of her face. 

They took their time as they bathed. Or at least Ren was a good sport about Vydia teasing him just about the entire time he was trying to clean her, but he definitely didn’t try and stop her when she guided his hands to the parts of her body she knew he really wanted to touch. Much to her disappointment, his touches stayed swift and never lingered in one place for long, like he actually wanted to bathe. 

Towards the end of their bath, Ren had them sitting on a shallow step. He was combing out her hair, while she was sitting in between his legs. He gave her hair a sharp tug when she dragged her nails down the length of his thick thighs and his lips brushed the shell of her ear as he scolded her. 

“You are awfully bold, little girl,” he growled lowly. “Keep that up and I’ll fucking destroy you.” 

The hand behind her head, kept a firm grip on her hair, while the other slipped around and grasped at her exposed throat. The movement was so fast and smooth, it reminded them of when they sparred. Ren may have been a big man, but the control he had over his body to move as fast and precise as he did, always surprised her. 

This was also not the first time he had said something like that, but this was the first time he could actually back it up, and it added another layer of excitement to the moment which she hadn’t experienced before. 

“Mmm,” Vydia hummed as a wave of heat ran down her body and settled in her upper thighs. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.” 

“So that’s how it’s going to be tonight?” Ren asked, his voice returning to it’s normal cocky tone. He released her hair and she turned around and straddled him. 

“For a little later in the evening, I don’t see why not.” She smiled at him 

“Oh?” He grinned. “You talk a lot of shit for a virgin.” 

“I may be a virgin, but I can gut a man from belly to brain while his family watches, so I’d choose your next words carefully.” Her tone darkened and she pressed her hand to his cheek as she dragged a thumb down his lips. 

“Mmm, easy baby,” Ren purred while he tried to sneak in a hot kiss. “I’m only teasing you, besides, you won’t be a virgin very much longer.” 

He pressed a couple of quick kisses to her jaw and slid them down her throat as he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and his mouth found hers while they made their way out of the pool. 

Water trickled down their bodies and Ren didn’t stop to dry them off. No, he made a beeline to the bed and he laid her down gently. He settled in between her legs and his warm body hovered over hers, just enough to brush over hers tantalizingly. His lips drifted off of hers and traveled down her body. Just as his mouth found her breasts, so did his hands. Sure, he touched her in the bath, but this was a very different kind of touch. He touched her in the bed like a man starved, of course she hadn’t seen him be with anyone else since she had joined, almost a year ago, and even Kuruk said he wasn’t getting laid, so he probably was. 

She moaned softly while he grasped hungrily at her curves and she felt his lips curl up in a smile against her soft skin. He covered her chest in biting kisses which he soothed with a quick flick of his sinful tongue. Vydia shut her eyes as she writhed under him and when he carried this kisses back up to her mouth she grabbed his face and pulled him even closer to her. 

“Can I,” he rasped breathlessly. “Can I taste you?” 

“You’re tasting me right now.” Vydia said against his mouth. 

“Mmm-mmm,” he shook his head. “Baby, I mean want that pretty little pussy of yours under my tongue.” 

Vydia was sure she turned bright fucking red and her lips parted slightly in absolute shock. “I. . . Uh. . .” 

“Aw, she’s shy,” he purred. “Never thought I’d live to see the day you became shy, or speechless, for that matter.” 

“Fuck you,” she snapped out of her shock real fast, but couldn’t help the smile that began to tug at the corners of her lips. “I—!”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he clamped a hand over her mouth. “The mouth on you is appalling. If this were any other night, I’d punish you for it, but tonight is about me pleasing you, so let me please you, little lover.” 

“Oh,” Vydia said still slightly breathless. “I, uh, okay.” 

_“Okay?”_ He chuckled as he teased her. “Is that a yes?” 

“You’re killing me, Ren,” she covered her face with her hands and groaned in frustration. “Yes!” 

“Oh, no, no, baby,” he grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away from her face. “I’m gonna need to see that beautiful face of yours when I make you cum.” 

“Oh fuck me.” She muttered under breath and Ren proceeded to placed kisses down her body starting with her sternum and ending with a quick nip to her inner thigh. 

Without another word, he buried his face in between her thighs and Vydia let out a sharp gasp as her fingers dug into the soft silk sheet below her. Ren groaned appreciatively, letting his tongue lap over her eagerly. 

It came to her attention rather quickly, that Ren knew exactly what he was doing. The soft sucking of his lips and the firm push of his tongue, had her on the edge in minutes, which would’ve been embarrassing, had it not been for Ren’s hungry gaze, tight grasp on her thighs, and cocky smirk on his face. 

Heat flooded up her legs and settled in her thighs as she felt herself near the end of her rope and when she came, her head flew back, her back arched up off the mattress, and her hands gripped the sheets so hard she was afraid she’d rip them. 

When she came down from her high, Ren was already working his way back up towards her mouth for a passionate kiss. He pressed his lips to hers roughly and when her hands slid down his chest, he grabbed her wrists and pinned them down onto the mattress above her head. She squeezed his hands as their fingers interlocked and she let out a sharp moan as he rolled his hips against hers. 

“You taste like heaven, baby,” he purred. “I bet you feel like it too.” 

Ren smiled that devilish smile of his and he locked both of her hands together with only one hand around her wrists while the other slid down her body slowly. It was the hand without any scarring, she assumed that he had lost a lot of feeling in the damaged parts of his body, which was why she noticed that he preferred to touch her more with his undamaged hand than the other. 

It slid over her, lingering over her breast of course. It soon settled in the apex of her thighs and he watched her reaction carefully as he slipped his fingers lower. They brushed over an already particularly sensitive part and her lashes fluttered and she bit her lip. Ren smiled and his fingers carried on intensely. Her hips had a mind of their own as they came off the mattress to push harder against his hand and she turned her head to the side as she moaned. 

In an instant, his hand was at her chin to turn her head to look at him. 

“I’m gonna need you to look at me, princess.” He said lowly. 

“Princess?” _That was a new one._

“Do you not like it?” His seriousness faded and his brow creased with worry. 

“I like it when you say it like _that,”_ she smiled. “But then again, you could call me just about anything in that tone and I’d melt.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind, princess.” Ren smirked at her. 

And with that, he slowly slipped his hand back in between her legs and carried on with what he had started. The amount moisture that had accumulated in between her legs was almost embarrassing, but she was thankful for it when he gently began to slide his fingers inside her. She jerked out of his grip and she grasped his shoulders. It stung a bit, considering his fingers were a lot larger and longer than hers were. Her chest heaved as she exhaled sharply and she bit the inside of her lip hard. 

“You’re so tight, baby,” he hummed as he placed a soft kiss to her lips, which she was too preoccupied with the new sensation to return. “Does it hurt?” 

Vydia shook her head because she didn’t trust her voice, but Ren could read her like an open book and he offered her another smile. 

“It’ll get better, I promise.” He started moving his fingers slowly and he curled them as he pulled them out in a way that made her toes curl and her back arch up. 

His skilled fingers were a close second to his sinful tongue. Vydia cried out as that familiar burn flooded throughout her body and she gripped his arms tightly. Her sharp nails bit into his skin, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care. A soft whine escaped her parted lips as that heat ran up the lengths of her thighs and settled in her groin. 

“Fuck, I—!” Her head flew back as she came again and her body shook while he worked her through her high. 

“What a good girl. . .” he hummed and his fingers slipped out of her slowly. “Normally, I’d like to wait until you’re begging me to stop, but I, uh, I really want to fuck you right now.” 

Vydia’s chest heaved as she fought to catch her breath. “Yeah, okay, let’s do that.” 

She wasn’t sure if it was the multiple orgasms that made her so embarrassingly wet, or his gruff praising words. Or perhaps it was the combination of the two. 

Ren laughed. “Fuck me, V.” 

“What? What did I do?” Her brow furrowed and she was now slightly more coherent and now, nervous. 

“I fucking adore you.” And with that, he leaned in and kissed her hard. 

Before it could go any further, Ren pulled away and he climbed out of the bed. Vydia sat up and her brow furrowed as she watched him walk around the bed to the nightstand beside them. He opened the drawer and pulled out a massive bottle of lube and something else, something too small for her to catch a glimpse of. 

Vydia couldn’t help but laugh. 

“What are you laughing at, little girl?” Ren said lowly, as he climbed back into the bed and kneeled in between her legs, still trying to keep the mood going. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger bottle of lube.” She said and she fell back onto the mattress with her hands over her mouth. She continued to laugh and Ren looked down at the bottle and nodded his head thoughtfully as he began to smile. 

“Huh, yeah, you’re right. This is an ungodly amount of lube.” He chuckled.

Ren smirked at her and quickly grabbed her and picked her up. Her legs wrapped around his slender waist instantly and she settled down onto his thick thighs as he pressed a playful kiss to her lips as she smiled back at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held herself close to him. 

“Gods, Vydia,” Ren breathed against her lips. “You’re so—Perfect. Fucking perfect.” 

He didn’t give her a chance to protest. Instead he kissed her hard and then gently laid her back down onto the mattress. Vydia ran her fingertips down his solid chest, the flat of his stomach, and the tantalizing slope of his prominent v-line. She could feel the muscles in his stomach jump under her touch as she made her way down his body. 

Ren groaned softly as she touched him. Her touch was soft, cautious. Ren reached down in between their bodies and gently guided her hand over him. He was hot and heavy against her palm and with every stroke, his body tensed up and he exhaled sharply. 

“That feels—” a low moan cut off his shaky words. “—amazing, but, uh, if you keep that up, I’m not going to last much longer.” 

Vydia drew back and pressed a light kiss to Ren’s cheek, closer to his ear so she could whisper to him. 

“No more waiting, right?” She murmured. “Do you still want this?” 

“Baby, I told you before,” he pressed a kiss to her temple as she drew back. “I’ve wanted to do unspeakable things to you from the second I met you. I don’t think you understand how long I’ve wanted you. Do you still want this?” 

“Yes, Ren.” 

“Mmm, yeah. I’m going to fucking destroy you.” 

Ren smiled and he sat back to kneel in between her legs again. Curiosity, made Vydia sit up on her elbows. He popped open that humorously large bottle and ran his slick hand generously up and down his length and then gently slipped his hand in between her legs. She jumped slightly at the touch, expecting the liquid to be cool, but it was warmed by his hand. 

Vydia laid back down as Ren leaned back down and settled himself in between her thighs. He captured her lips in one more passionate kiss before he lined himself up with her. 

“It’s going to hurt,” he whispered. “More than my fingers—”

 _Obviously. . . You’re fucking huge,_ Vydia thought to herself. 

“—and I apologize ahead of time for that. I’ll go slow, but tell me if you want me to stop.” He said. 

Vydia nodded her head and she took a slow breath to try and calm her nerves. A sharp gasp escaped Vydia’s parted lips and her hands leapt to his biceps as he began to thrust himself inside her. She gripped him hard, hard enough it made him stop moving abruptly. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. “Should I stop?” 

“No,” Vydia breathed. “Don’t stop.” 

He was right. It did hurt. It burned, but not the good kind of burn. It was the kind of pain that was so different, Vydia didn’t even know how to process it. Should she stay still? Pull away? Did moving make it worse? 

Ren panted as he leaned in and peppered the side of her jaw and her throat with soft kisses. His biceps flexed under grip as he grasped at the bedsheets. 

“Relax, baby,” he said softly. “And breathe.” 

She hadn’t even realized she had been holding her breath. She exhaled sharply and tried her best to relax, but she wasn’t sure it was working. Ren continue to move and it felt like he was never ending! She was so relieved when he finally stopped and both of their chests heaved as they gasped for air. 

“Holy shit, you’re tight,” Ren groaned and he pressed a light kiss to her cheek. “You okay, babygirl?” 

“Mmm,” she huffed. “Yeah, not a fan of that one.” 

Her voice was tight with discomfort, but she began to relax with the foreign feeling and the burn had begun to subside slightly, now that he was fully seated inside her. 

Ren let out a bark of laughter and he dropped his forehead onto her chest. “You’re really gonna sass me while I’m literally inside you?” 

Vydia managed to laugh too and Ren shuddered as he bit back a moan. “G-goddamn it. You’re squeezing the shit out of me.” 

“O-oh. Sorry.” Her hand leapt to her mouth and Ren let out a low growl as he brought his face closer to hers. 

“Move that fucking hand, princess.” He said lowly. 

Vydia complied with a small smile and wide eyes. Ren pressed a rough kiss to her lips before he whispered, “Alright, gorgeous. I’m gonna start moving, m’kay?” 

“Okay.” Vydia whispered breathlessly. 

Ren drew his hips back slowly and Vydia gritted her teeth at the uncomfortable feeling. She braced herself for the burn of reentry, but it didn’t happen. It didn’t feel good yet, but it didn’t hurt like it did before. 

“How’s that?” Ren asked softly. 

“It’s okay,” Vydia replied. “Better I think.” 

She looked down and noticed the unmistakable smear of blood on the sheets and her face heated up with hot blush. Ren looked down too and his face went dark with lust before he noticed the dark stain, but once he did, his features softened instantly. 

“Hey, look at me, baby,” he tilted her chin up and she bit her bottom lip hard. “Don’t do that. That’s my job.” 

He gently dragged his thumb over her bottom lip and tugged it out from between her teeth. He leaned in and kissed her softly, to which she returned eagerly. 

Ren kept the pace slow and steady and as they continued the pain began to ease and her faint noises of discomfort eventually turned into soft moans of pleasure. 

“That’s it, baby,” Ren hummed. “Let me make you feed good.” 

It did feel good. She was thankful for that, but not surprised. She knew all too well that Ren was an experienced lover, but she tired not to think about that. 

“Faster,” she whimpered. “Please.” 

Ren complied with a grin and picked up the pace. One hand stayed pressed to the mattress, beside her head, while the other slipped down to her waist and he pulled her leg even higher over his hip. 

His fingers dug into the flesh of her slender thigh so hard she was sure she’d have bruises tomorrow, but she was also sure that he would be covered in claw marks from her so she couldn’t complain (not that she really wanted to anyways). His hips jerked forward in a particularly rough thrust and Vydia let out a sharp moan. 

“Did I hurt you?” Ren stopped instantly. 

“No, no,” she said breathlessly. “Keep going.” 

He did. He gauged her reaction carefully as he shifted the direction his hips were going and began to thrust upwards, hoping to hit that spot just right. 

“So, you like it rough, princess?” Ren smirked. “I can do that.” 

“Ren—!” Her voice was cut off by a sharp moan. 

Ren chuckled breathlessly and slid the hand that was gripping her leg towards the apex of her thighs. His thumb ran lazy circles over her and she let out another soft moan. The two sensations were too much for her and after a few strokes she came hard and she dragged her nails down his back. 

Ren let out a low groan and after he worked her through her high, he flipped her over and then thrust himself back inside her. Vydia cried out and she grasped at the bedsheets. 

“Fuck,” Ren hissed. “Gods, you feel so good. So tight, so wet, so fucking good, baby.” 

Vydia couldn’t respond. She was too busy moaning and gasping for air. Ren reached over her head and grabbed her hands. He laced their fingers together and she squeezed his hands tightly. 

“I want you to cum again,” he growled in her ear. “Cum on my fucking cock.” 

Vydia let out a whimper and Ren released one of her hands and gave a sharp smack to her ass. Vydia jumped in surprise, but she definitely didn’t mind it. He saw her smiling and he slapped her again, this time on the other side, balancing out the sting. 

“Dirty girl.” He said gruffly. She could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Fuck—!” she bit back a particularly loud moan as his free hand slipped under her to torment her, at least that was what she presumed, but she was surprised again when she felt and heard the buzz of a vibrator. 

_So that was what he had in his hand earlier,_ she managed to think briefly. 

That was it. That was the thing that sent her right over the edge again. She came with a abrupt cry and was left a hot quivering mess under him. 

Ren kept the same brutal pace and didn’t even think about finishing until he had her in two more positions and had wrung three more orgasms out of her. 

Towards the end of round one, Ren had her back on her back (just after he had her with her legs wrapped around his waist, his hands under her ass, while she bounced on his thighs) and was still slamming into her relentlessly. Earlier into the night she was more keen on actually fucking him back with every roll of her hips against his, but at this point she was too overstimulated to to move. She let out a soft whine as she shut her eyes tightly and her hands reached up to grip the bed sheets above her. 

“Fucking shit V, almost there, baby,” he huffed and after a few more determined thrusts, he groaned.

“I’m gonna cum. Fuck—I’m gonna fucking cum!” 

He tossed his head back with gruff moan and his hands felt like iron on her hips. His chest heaved as he rode out his high and when it finally slowed down, he slumped forward with a deep sigh. He brushed a chaste kiss to Vydia's swollen lips and managed a few more languid strokes before he slipped out of her. He slowly rolled to the side off of her, but not before he took a second to watch himself trickle down her lips. He pressed a sloppy kiss to Vydia who was thoroughly spent in the best way, and then climbed out of the bed. 

“Stay there, baby.” 

“Mm-hm.” Vydia could barely even comprehend what he was saying. 

He padded off onto the bathroom and when he returned to the bed she felt the warmth of a damp cloth run down the insides of her thighs and then finally her pleasantly sore entrance. Ren quickly wiped himself down as well, and then plopped down onto the bed beside her. He pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head. 

“So,” he said lowly as he ran a hand through her hair. “How was that?”

“Fucking fantastic.” Vydia mumbled sleepily. 

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on me yet,” he chuckled. “I’m not through with you.” 

“Hmm?” Her eyes closed. 

“Vydia.”

No response. 

“V?”

“Hmph. I guess you have earned yourself a nap or two.” Ren huffed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and feedback are appreciated! My tumblr has most of my writings if you're interested and it's @breakmybedbarnes.


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